Victoria’s Secrets

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Victoria’s Secrets

…..Victoria Jackson


Announcer: And now, it’s time for “Victoria’s Secrets”.

Victoria Jackson: Good evening. This week, I have three secrets that I’d like to reveal to you.. but please don’t tell anyone.

The first secret is: A lot of people ask me, “Are you as dumb as you appear on the show?” The answer is, “I don’t know.” I never watch the show.

My second secret is: A lot of men ask me, “How do you like it?” And I say, “Like what?” And they say, “You know. Your sex.” And I say, “My sex, like being a woman? Or like, having sex?” And they say, “The second one.” And I say, “I forgot. Which one was the second one?” And they say, “Victoria, don’t do that stupid character.” And I say, “I’m not doing a character.” And they get mad and walk away.

My third secret is: I’m not wearing anything under my bra.. I don’t think. Just skin. And under the skin, just two saline implants. But, sshh! Don’t tell anyone. It’ll be our little secret. [ blows kiss and winks ]

Announcer: This has been “Victoria’s Secrets”.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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