SNL Transcripts: Michael J. Fox: 03/16/91: Central High Class Reunion



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 16: Episode 15


90o: Michael J. Fox / Black Crowes

Central High Class Reunion

Ronnie Stilson…..Michael J. Fox
Mike…..Mike Myers
Nick DeCaesar…..Kevin Nealon
Cindy Plank…..Victoria Jackson
Brian Grady…..Dana Carvey
Band Member…..Adam Sandler

[Song plays ‘Celebrate Good Times’, sign reads ‘We Welcome Central High Class of 1981 to the Blue Room- 8 PM]

Ronnie: I can’t believe how much everybody’s changed.

Mike: Oh man, a 10 year reunion already, wow that went fast, you know. Hey I better go find my wife, ok? Look, stop by ok?

Ronnie: I will.

Mike: Great, see ya later.

Nick: Yo Ronnie Stilson, how ya been?

Ronnie: Hey…. Nicky, Nicky!

Nick: Yeah, how ya doin? You lookin good, you alright?

Ronnie: How you doin, you alright?

Nick: I’m doin good, yeah yeah, you doin alright?

Ronnie: I’m alright.

Nick: Come here you goobma, you ok?

Ronnie: Yeah I’m great.

Nick: Yeah of course you’re great.

Ronnie: It’s weird you know, I’m seein everybody how much they’ve changed.

Nick: Yeah yea I know. Forget about them, how are YOU doin?

Ronnie: Me, I’m good, thank you.Nick: Listen to this guy, ‘I’m good’, of course you’re good, and you were good to me too, remember in high school, I had a little thing for that chick, Anita Simon, and she wouldn’t give me the time of day, and you told me, ‘forget about her’. You said there were plenty of fish out there, remember?

Ronnie: Yeah yeah.

Nick: How you doin, you lookin good, lookin good, you workin?

Ronnie: Yeah I’m workin over at Sakorski Aircraft.

Nick: Oh yeah sure, sure. You like it over there?

Ronnie: Work is work, you know. Actually I got a little run in with my foreman today.

Nick: Woah woah woah! You got a little run in with your foreman?

Ronnie: Yeah it was no big deal.

Nick: And what is this foreman’s name?

Ronnie: What, my foreman?

Nick: Yeah what is his name?

Ronnie: Dan, Dan Damurski.

Nick: Ok that’s all I need to know, I’ll take care of it.

Ronnie: Wait a minute, what do you mean you’ll take care of it?

Nick: I will take care of it, that’s all you need to know, end of discussion, alright? Ronnie, lookin good! I see by your ring that you’re married, are you happy?

Ronnie: Uh actually to be honest with ya, I’m going through a divorce right now.

Nick: Holy jeez, not you.

Ronnie: Yeah it’s gettin pretty messy too, our lawyer is taking me to the cleaners.

Nick: Uh huh, I see, and what is the name of this lawyer? I may know him.

Ronnie: Well I believe his name is Sam Frick.

Nick: Who?

Ronnie: Frick, Sam Frick.

Nick: Sam Frick, ok that’s all I need to know, I’ll take care of it.

Ronnie: Wait no no no, Nick.

Nick: No I’ll take care of it, consider it done. Look I don’t know you, you don’t know me, we never spoke, alright? End of story! Alright! Lookin good… Cindy! Cindy Plwank!

Cindy: Hi… Nick the Scissor!

Nick: How ya doin? You lookin good, lookin good.

Cindy: Thank you.

Nick: I hear you’re a mother now, huh? That must be something right?

Cindy: Oh, don’t let anyone tell you it’s easy.

Nick: Why, what’s the problem? Talk to me.

Cindy: Well my oldest child Eric had to stay after school today, and he felt really hurt about it.

Nick: Woah woah woah, let me understand this. One of the teachers kept your child after school?

Cindy: Yeah.

Nick: Uh huh, and what might be the name of this individual who did this to your child?

[Ronnie motioning with his hand to Cindy behind Nicky’s back, trying to get her to stop talking to Nicky]

Cindy: The name?

Nick: Yeah.

Cindy: Ms. Flanders.

Nick: Ms. Flanders, that’s all I need to know, I’ll take care of it, alright? I’ll take care of it, listen to me, consider it done alright? I don’t know you, you don’t know me, we never spoke, I never saw you in my life.

Brian: Hey Ronnie! Long time no see, how ya doin?

Ronnie: Good, good.

Nick: Brian Grady! Yo, give me a hug, come here you! [Nicky gives hug, while Brian is confused, reluctant to hug] How you been? You look good!

Brian: Nick… Ok so Ronnie it’s good to see ya, you still a big Mets fan?

Ronnie: No not really, not since Daryl Strawberry went to the Dodgers.

Brian: Yeah yeah.

Nick: Woah, who let you down?

Ronnie: Nobody.

Brian: Daryl Strawberry let us both down.

Nick: Alright that’s all I need to know.

Brian: What’s that?

Nick: This guy, Daryl Strawberry, he let you both down, that’s all I need to know, I’ll take care of it, alright? Say no more.

Brian: Relax, relax.

Nick: I am relaxed, believe me I am very relaxed.

Brian: So listen Ronnie, Patti tells me you almost won the Twilight League Bowling Tournament, but your partner blew it or something?

Ronnie: No! [motioning with hand, signaling to Brian to drop the subject]

Nick: What’s that? Somebody blew something for somebody, who’s this?

Brian: Oh, well Ronnie’s bowling partner blew the tournament for him.

Nick: Oh, uh huh.

Brian: Oh my God, Mr. Jeffers, gotta go. See ya later.

Nick: Ronnie, Ronnie come here, now tell me Ronnie who is this bowling partner of your that couldn’t carry his share of the weight?

Ronnie: It was nobody really, doesn’t even bother me.

Nick: No I’m just curious, who was it? I just wanna make sure you never bowl with him.

Ronnie: I don’t even remember his name.

Nick: Come on, tell me about this character, what’d he look like?

Ronnie: Well nobody, I don’t know, ok. He looked like a heavier, older version of Treat Williams.

Nick: Treat Williams, ok that’s all I need to know, I will take care of him, alright? Everything else good?

Ronnie: Great, great no complaints.

Nick: You’d tell me if everything wasn’t great, correct? [adjusts Ronnie’s collar]

Ronnie: Absolutely.

Nick: Alright, you take care of yourself. [Slaps Ronnie’s cheeks, walks into ballroom]

Singer: [singing lyrics to slow dance song, playing guitar] You make a fine line, right there, Luciiiiillllle! … Alright, thank you.

Nick: Pal, you got a second?

Singer: Sure.

Nick: Listen, I really appreciate you entertaining all my friends like this.

Singer: Oh no problem.

Nick: No I’m serious, I appreciate it. Now what is this about this chick that left you high and dry?

Singer: What do you mean?

Nick: You know, the chick that left you with the crops in the field, and the children.

Singer: Oh the song ‘Lucille’?

Nick: Yeah Lucille, who’d she leave you for?

Singer: It’s just a song.

Nick: No no no I heard it, she left you, you had some bad times and some sad times?

Singer: Oh my friend, that’s just a song by Kenny Rogers, ‘Lucille’ it’s called.

Nick: Uh huh, and this Kenny Rogers is the putz who ran off with your old lady leaving you with the crops in the field?

Submitted by: Ethan Greenberg

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