Balz-Off
Wife…..Jan Hooks
Husband…..Kevin Nealon
Wife: [ entering house ] When I started back to work, there were not enough hours in the day. It seemed that life was divided between my job and my family. I was exhausted and run-down. So I asked my doctor hat to do, and he recommended this.. [ holds up package ] .. Balz-off.
Husband: Hi, honey! I got off work early, so I came straight home and fixed dinner. But don’t get up – just relax!
Wife: Non-prescription Balz-Off is safe, gentle to the stomach, and it works.
Husband: Here you go.
Wife: Why, thank you, honey!
Husband: Can I get you anything else?
Wife: [ as phone rings ] You can get the phone!
Husband: Sure, I’d love to. [ answers phone ]
Wife: Balz-off’s time-release formula last a full twenty-four hours. Two Balz-off tablets with breakfast, and he’s home all evening and glad to be there.
Husband: [ covers mouthpiece of phone ] It’s your mother.
Wife: I don’t want to talk to her.
Husband: She’s busy. Oh, no problem, I would love to take you to the florist.
Wife: It’s easy to use, and it’s effective. Here’s how Balz-off works: [ over silhoette of human male ] Hormonal signals build up here, in the freedom center. These signals are sent to the brain, where they cause pressure and confusion. Balz-Off effectively blocks these signals, eliminating problem behavior before it reaches the brain.
Husband: Dinner’s on the table.
Wife: Thanks. Hey.. isn’t tonight your poker night.
Husband: Yeah, but.. that’s just an excuse to drink beer, smoke big, smelly cigars and talk about women. I don’t think I need that.
Wife: Oh, honey, I’m so proud of you.
Announcer: New, prescription-strength Balz-Off. In regular, and new Italian strength.
