SNL Transcripts: George Dave: 05/18/91: The Shindells


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 16: Episode 20

90t: George Wendt / Elvis Costello

The Shindells

Danny…..Dana Carvey
Dave…..George Wendt
Singer 1…..Chris Rock
Singer 2…..Tim Meadows
Singer 3…..Chris Farley

[Sign reads “Tonite Only: The Shindell’s”, as music plays to shoo-wop, men start singing]

Danny: You were the only one, who could make me cry

Singer 1: You were the first one to tell me goodbye

Dave: Now I sit here like a fool

Singer 2: Pretending that it’s cool

All: You left me for a low standard man

Danny: Baby oh baby, you broke my heart in two

Singer 3: Now I just site here and dream of you

Dave: Every tear drop I cry

Singer 2: Reminds me that you lied

All: When you left me for a low standard man

Danny: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Dave: [pauses to think out loud, not in tune] Baby you hurt me real bad when you told me you won’t be coming home no more.

All except Dave: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Dave: [still not in tune] I remember all the nights I cried alone, but did you hear the tear drop song?

All: Tear drop song

All except Dave: Shoo-wop

Dave: [not in tune] No mama you were too busy hangin out with that guy at Jody’s barbeque, you know who I’m talking about, uh Ted something…

All: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Dave: [not in tune] It started with an ‘A’, and I wanna say Amberson but I know that’s not it, uh Atkins?

All except Dave: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Dave: [not in tune] No, Atkinson… alright baby I’m drawing a blank, but he has this big overbite-

All except Dave: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Dave: [not in tune] Remember? Anyway you said you were just gonna go look at his car for 5 minutes. Two hours later you came back with your hair all messed up-

All except Dave: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Dave: [Not in tune] Your dress all backwards, I mean you played me like a fool.

Danny: [not in tune] Listen Dave, no offense but aren’t you really as much to blame-

Singers 1, 2, 3: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Danny: [quickly says ‘Shoo-wop shoo-wop’, realizing he missed it] I mean uh, forget it, forget it, forget it, sorry.

Dave: No no tell me, what were you gonna say?

Singers 1, 2, 3: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Danny: [quickly says ‘Shoo-wop shoo-wop’] Well this is really getting to be a pattern with you man. I mean you go out with these girls who treat you like dirt, you remember Francine?

Singers 1, 2, 3: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Singer 1: Oh Francine, now she was a total psycho- Shoo-wop

All: Total psychooooo-

Dave: Ok I admit it, I have dated some losers but what bugs me about Sherry and this Ted guy-

All except Dave: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Dave: Arkin! No that’s not it. What bugs me is Danny here who all the time, sneakin around on me, never says nothing.

Danny: Well I, I-

Dave: You made me look like a horses ass, you are some friend man!

Singer 3: Hey come on guys.

All except Singer 3: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Danny: Come on stay out of this you fat slob!

All except Singer 3: Fat slooooob

Singer 3: There’s no reason to bring my weight into this, you know I have a problem.

Danny: Your problem is you eat like a fat pig.

All except Singer 3: You fat slob

Singer 2: Come on guys, come on now, we’re talking about Dave’s problem with Sherry right?

Singer 3: Yeah and the guy with the overbite- shoo-wop

All: Ted Ackersooooon

Dave: Ackerson that’s it! [hits himself in the head; dialogue begins]

Singer 1: Hey she was with a bunch of guys, man.

Dave: Why didn’t you tell me you fat pig?

Singer 3: Hey you’re just as fat as me man! [dialogue ends]

All except Singer 3: Maybe faaaatter

Danny: Hey you know the point is everybody knew, man.

Singer 1: Shoo-wop shoo-wop

Submitted by: Ethan Greenberg

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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