Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 16: Episode 20
90t: George Wendt / Elvis Costello
The Shindells
Danny…..Dana Carvey
Dave…..George Wendt
Singer 1…..Chris Rock
Singer 2…..Tim Meadows
Singer 3…..Chris Farley
Danny: You were the only one, who could make me cry
Singer 1: You were the first one to tell me goodbye
Dave: Now I sit here like a fool
Singer 2: Pretending that its cool
All: You left me for a low standard man
Danny: Baby oh baby, you broke my heart in two
Singer 3: Now I just site here and dream of you
Dave: Every tear drop I cry
Singer 2: Reminds me that you lied
All: When you left me for a low standard man
Danny: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Dave: [pauses to think out loud, not in tune] Baby you hurt me real bad when you told me you wont be coming home no more.
All except Dave: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Dave: [still not in tune] I remember all the nights I cried alone, but did you hear the tear drop song?
All: Tear drop song
All except Dave: Shoo-wop
Dave: [not in tune] No mama you were too busy hangin out with that guy at Jodys barbeque, you know who Im talking about, uh Ted something
All: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Dave: [not in tune] It started with an A, and I wanna say Amberson but I know thats not it, uh Atkins?
All except Dave: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Dave: [not in tune] No, Atkinson alright baby Im drawing a blank, but he has this big overbite-
All except Dave: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Dave: [not in tune] Remember? Anyway you said you were just gonna go look at his car for 5 minutes. Two hours later you came back with your hair all messed up-
All except Dave: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Dave: [Not in tune] Your dress all backwards, I mean you played me like a fool.
Danny: [not in tune] Listen Dave, no offense but arent you really as much to blame-
Singers 1, 2, 3: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Danny: [quickly says Shoo-wop shoo-wop, realizing he missed it] I mean uh, forget it, forget it, forget it, sorry.
Dave: No no tell me, what were you gonna say?
Singers 1, 2, 3: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Danny: [quickly says Shoo-wop shoo-wop] Well this is really getting to be a pattern with you man. I mean you go out with these girls who treat you like dirt, you remember Francine?
Singers 1, 2, 3: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Singer 1: Oh Francine, now she was a total psycho- Shoo-wop
All: Total psychooooo-
Dave: Ok I admit it, I have dated some losers but what bugs me about Sherry and this Ted guy-
All except Dave: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Dave: Arkin! No thats not it. What bugs me is Danny here who all the time, sneakin around on me, never says nothing.
Danny: Well I, I-
Dave: You made me look like a horses ass, you are some friend man!
Singer 3: Hey come on guys.
All except Singer 3: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Danny: Come on stay out of this you fat slob!
All except Singer 3: Fat slooooob
Singer 3: Theres no reason to bring my weight into this, you know I have a problem.
Danny: Your problem is you eat like a fat pig.
All except Singer 3: You fat slob
Singer 2: Come on guys, come on now, were talking about Daves problem with Sherry right?
Singer 3: Yeah and the guy with the overbite- shoo-wop
All: Ted Ackersooooon
Dave: Ackerson thats it! [hits himself in the head; dialogue begins]
Singer 1: Hey she was with a bunch of guys, man.
Dave: Why didnt you tell me you fat pig?
Singer 3: Hey youre just as fat as me man! [dialogue ends]
All except Singer 3: Maybe faaaatter
Danny: Hey you know the point is everybody knew, man.
Singer 1: Shoo-wop shoo-wop
Submitted by: Ethan Greenberg
