Sarah…..Victoria Jackson
Nan…..Julia Sweeney
Kevin…..Kevin Nealon
Phil…..Phil Hartman

[ open on mothers looking at their babies ]

Sarah: Aren’t they beautiful?

Nan: Yes. I never thought I could love anything so much. You ever worry about what kind of world they’re gonna grow up in?

Sarah: Of course.

Nan: I try to do whatever I can – recycle, buy the right diaper..

Sarah: But, Nan, isn’t Zack wearing a disposable diaper?

Nan: Sarah, we use Earthies. You don’t just throw them away. You plant them. Earthies are the only diaper lined with seeds. [ demonstration plays ] When planted, Earthies’ unique absorbant liner protects the young seedling as it begins to grow. In a short time, an ear of corn emerges from the diaper-enriched soil. And that’s something you and you baby can be proud of!

[ dissolve to the mothers walking through the cornstalks in the backyard ]

Nan: Corn for boys, and pumpkins for girls.

Sarah: And I’ve been using cloth diapers..

Kevin: Hey! What are the moms up to?

Nan: Nothing. Just solving the world’s problems, that’s all!

Phil: [ eating ] Hey, Nan.. great corn!

Sarah: Great diapers.

Announcer: Earthies. The bountiful diaper. Protects their bottoms, protects their planet. From Dell Monty.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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