Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 17: Episode 4
Christian Slaters Monologue
Christian Slater: Thank you very much. Wow, let me just say that again, wow, Saturday night live! First of all, I want to thank everyone for tuning in, even though the World Series is still on, I understand its been a real exciting series, but weve got a real exciting show. Before we get started though, Id like to get something off my chest. This is something thats been bothering me for sometime and I wanted to take this opportunity here to deal with it once and for all, alright. Im a little tired of people accusing me of doing Jack Nicholson, OK? Of course it hasnt happened around here, you know, people at the show have been extremely supportive, very helpful. Its I dont know, maybe its characters Ive played, I dont know. Movies like Heathers, Pump Up the Volume, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest- no that actually was Jack, yea. But anyway, what I do is nothing like Jack Nicholson, alright? And just to prove it, Im going to do the famous diner scene from Five Easy Pieces. Now the way I do it, alright. Now first were going to show you the way Nicholson did it, so Davey if we could role that clip there. Davey? Anybody hear me? Anyone? Dave? [whistles] [Behind the scenes, production staff is watching the game, doing the Braves chop with foam Braves sticks]
Christian Slater: Excuse me! [trying to get someones attention] Excuse me! I guess theyre watching the game. Alright, this is great guys.[Jumps to real John McLaughlin and Lorne Michaels watching the game in front of a TV, with Braves sticks and wearing Indian headdresses]
Lorne Michaels: I always said Braves in 6.
John McLaughlin: Wrong, Braves in 7.
Christian Slater: Lorne.
Lorne Michaels: Christian, howd the monologue go?
Christian Slater: Fine, I think Im still doing it.
Lorne Michaels: Good, good. You know I said Braves in 6.
John McLaughlin: Excuse me young man, you make a better door than a window. [referring to Slater blocking the TV]
Christian Slater: Oh, sorry.[Slater sees whole audience is doing the Braves chop]
Christian Slater: Jesus. Thats great. Well I guess theyre watching the game, but we actually really do have a great show tonight. Bonnie Raitt is here. Well be right back.
Submitted by: Ethan Greenberg