Lung Brush


Lung Brush

Man…..Tom Davis
Woman…..Siobhan Fallon
Spokesman…..Mike Myers
…..Ken Stabler
Wife…..Victoria Jackson
Husband…..Chris Farley

[ open on a Man and Woman sitting at a bar smoking ]

Man: I thought you quit smoking? You were gonna be my inspiration.

Woman: Not anymore. Now I can smoke as much as I like, now that I’ve got the Lung Brush.

Man: Lung Brush?

Spokesman: [ steps in, holding up the product ] That’s right – Lung Brush! Created by a small inventor in California, who himself enjoyed smoking, Lung Brush is the easy, inexpensive alternative to quitting or cutting down.

Here’s how it works: [ Husband demonstrates ] Taking control of the easy-grip handle, slide the gentle bristle device past the trachea opening, back down the windpipe, and into the lung itself. The unique Lung Brush design allows you to remove caked-on tar, smoke particles, even city smog phlegm, freeing up clogged bronchial passages so vital for breathing and smoking. And Lung Brush’s sturdy design makes cleaning and maintenance a snap! One Lung Brush may be the only Lung Brush you’ll ever need.

Announcer: Here’s football great, Kenny Stabler.

Ken Stabler: I threw my light and low-tar cigarettes away. Now, back to my favorite brand again. Thanks, Lung Brush!

Wife: Time to come to bed, dear.

Husband: [ coughs ]

Wife: Don’t forget to brush.

Husband: Lung Brush, that is! [ smiles ]

Spokesman: So, get into the Lung Brush habit today, and smoke to your heart’s content. Lung Brush is available wherever quality tobacco products are sold.

Announcer: Only $14.95, from Life Tool.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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