Schiller Visions: Hidden Camera Commercials


Schiller Visions: Hidden Camera Commercials

Knorben Knussen…..Tom Schiller
Switch Victim…..Chris Farley


SCHILLER VISIONS… WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY TOM SCHILLER

Announcer: From Sweden: Schiller Visions. Tonight: “Hidden Camera Commercials, What are they hiding?”

[ show hidden camera video set in a restaurant at night – Man drinking what he thinks is caffeinated coffee ]

Offscreen Voice: Are you aware, Sir, that you are drinking Colombian decaffeinated coffee crystals?

Man: [ surprised ] Am I? Why, it’s delicious! It tastes like rich-bodied, regular coffee!

[ cut to Knorben Knussen ]

Knorben Knussen: It took 264 hidden camera customers before that reaction was obtained. I am Knorben Knussen, for Swedish Televison One, and tonight we are going to examine the American craze of hidden camera commercials. Particularly, what doesn’t make it to your home television set.

[ cut to the never-before-seen outtake, featuring the Switch Victim drinking what he assumes is caffeinated coffee ]

Watch this unused camera take.

Offscreen Voice: Sir, do you realize that you are not drinking regular coffee, but Colombian decaffeinated coffee crystals?

Switch Victim: [ confused ] Wha-at?

Offscreen Voice: I said, you are drinking Colombian decaf coffee crystals!

Switch Victim: [ the smile silently disappears from his face, as anger sets in ] Why.. you.. sonofabitch! You no-good.. damn.. sonofaBITCH!! [ throws his table to the floor, then seizes the waiter by the collar ] You LIED to me!! You told me this was REGULAR COFFEE!! [ punches the waiter in the face, as his wife tries to restrain him ] Shut your YAPPER!!

[ a Cook smashes a bottle over the Switch Victim’s head, but this doesn’t stop him. Instead, he begins to throw pies across the room, as the Cook smashes more bottles over his head. ]

I’ll GET YOU!! I’ll KILL someone!! I’ll KILL someone!!

[ he starts to throw plates and silverware to the floor, as the Cook sneaks up behind him and repeatedly bangs a pot over the Switch Victim’s head until he is finally subdued, his wife sobbing uncontrollably as the scene fades. ]

Knorben Knussen: Now, live from Shreveport, Louisiana, via international satellite hookup, the victim of that hidden camera commercial, Michael Huff.

[ Huff is shown on the adjacent screen with bandages wrapped around his head ]

Mr. Huff, how do feel about your experience on hidden camera?

Switch Victim: An-gryyy..

Knorben KnussenThank you. And thank you from Swedish Television. Good night!

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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