Remembrances of Love, with Wilt Chamberlain


Remembrances of Love, with Wilt Chamberlain

Wilt Chamberlain…..Hammer
Cheryl…..Ellen Cleghorne
Fan…..Victoria Jackson

[ open on modern-day Wilt Chamberlain, sitting in his study next to a table stacked high with files on the women he’s dated ]

Wilt Chamberlain: I love women. I’ve had 20,000 relationships with beautiful, fascinating women in my life, every day since 1959, and all of them were special in their own way. Tonight.. [ pulls out a picture ] ..I remember Cheryl – #13,906, but in my heart, she was #2,078. Cheryl was so full of life, love and laughter. [ sniffs ] Mmm.. I can smell her perfume even now..

[ scene flashes back to Wilt’s time spent with Cheryl ]

Wilt Chamberlain V/O: It was 1972. The year the Lakers and I went all the way. A special year all around.

[ show exterior, Marriot Hotel in Milwaukee, Wisconsin ]

Cheryl: [ laughing ] So.. I figured, if the line for the movie is that long, it can’t be any good! [ laughs ]

Wilt Chamberlain: [ chuckles ] That’s terrific!

Cheryl: Oh.. Wilt? I’m such a big fan of yours.

Wilt Chamberlain: Oh, what’s there to say about me? I play basketball. But tell me more about you.

Cheryl: Yeah, well, anyway.. I saw “Cabaret” instead, and that was excellent! It was good.

Wilt Chamberlain: Yeah. Can you imagine that those people were living in tough, old times, trying to make the best of an intolerable situation?

Cheryl: Oh, I know..

Wilt Chamberlain: And how was that Joel Grey?

Cheryl: [ sighs ] The whole cast was excellent!

Wilt Chamberlain V/O: I was totally head over heels for Cheryl. Maybe I was feeling a little vulnerable. I was on the rebound from a previous relationship with a girl who was still in the bathroom. But there was no time for analyzing – I’ve always followed my heart.

Wilt Chamberlain: Cheryl? I don’t know how to say this.. it’s like.. when we’re together, it’s just so right!

Cheryl: Oh, I feel it, too.

Wilt Chamberlain: Like, remember the time when we talked about “Cabaret”?

Cheryl: Uh-huh. Yeah. When you said that it was making the best of an intolerable situation?

Wilt Chamberlain: Yes. You’re just so.. so wonderful!

Cheryl: [ moves up to kiss Wilt, and carries him and his big legs into the bed ]

[ pan over to the clock on the dresser, which quickly jumps ahead 15 minutes, then pans back to the bed, where Wilt and Cheryl are now seen smoking afterwards. ]

Wilt Chamberlain: You are one amazing woman..

Cheryl: Oh.. it was wonderful, Wilt!

Wilt Chamberlain: Look.. I got a game tomorrow in Cleveland.. I could fly you in, and we could spend halftime together. Just you.. and me.

Cheryl: I don’t think so, Wilt..

Wilt Chamberlain: What do you mean?

Wilt Chamberlain V/O: I tried to argue.. but, deep down inside, Cheryl was right – it just wasn’t there any more. We had drifted apart, and we just couldn’t keep faking it.

Cheryl: I’ll always remember you, Wilt. [ exits room ]

Wilt Chamberlain: How could I forget you? [ tears well up in his eyes, as someone knocks at the door ] Come in..

Fan: Mr. Chamblerlain? My brother is a really big fan of yours.

Wilt Chamberlain: [ eyes her down ] Oh? Well, please.. come on in, sit down.. I want to hear more about you.. [ points to the table ] I’ve still got some french fries. Feel free!

Fan: Okay.

Wilt Chamberlain: Mmm-hmm..

Announcer: Next week: the heartbreak of #9,687, on “Remembrances of Love, with Wilt Chamberlain”.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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