Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 17: Episode 9
Scott Fellstad…..Mike Myers
Christy Reynolds…..Victoria Jackson
Mark Strobel…..Chris Farley
Sabrina Boyd…..Ellen Cleghorne
Bob Van Arks…..Kevin Nealon
Don Pardo: Once again, its time for Americas most unpredictable game show, Suckerpunch. And heres Mr. Suckerpunch himself, Chet Mutelle.
Host: Thank you and welcome to Suckerpunch. Now lets meet our first Suckerpunch contestant, Scott Fellstad. Scott welcome to Suckerpunch.
Scott Fellstad: Im sorry whats the name of the show?
Host: Suckerpunch [fake punches Fellstad, ring sound heard, red light goes on, Fellstad falls to floor] Sorry Scott you didnt win but that was a nice try. Now lets meet Christy Reynolds. Christy, how was it that you came to join us here on Suckerpunch?
Christy Reynolds: Well Im standing in line for the Tonight Show and then a page said they were getting new contestants for a new game show.
Host: Hmm well thanks for joining us Christy. Now lets take a look at the Suckerpunch board. Categories are: American History, Shakespeare, Television, Trivia and Suckerpunches. Christy, which category do you choose?Christy Reynolds: Ill take American- [Host punches Reynolds, ring and red light go off, Reynolds falls to ground]
Host: Sorry the category was Suckerpunches, Suckerpunches. Ok now our third contestant is Bob Van Arks from Racine, Wisconsin, but before we talk to Bob, lets meet our audience member in the isolation booth, Mark Strobel, come on down Mark. Here we go Mark. [Mark blindfolded] Now the isolation booth is totally soundproof, am I right Mark?
Mark Strobel: Thats correct.
Host: OK you can take off the blindfold now and heres the question. PT Barnum once said this type of person was born every minute.
Mark Strobel: Oh I know that, a sucker.
Host: Thats right. [Host Suckerpunches Mark, Mark falls to ground, ring sounds] Now lets explain the rules for Suckerpunch. Basically whatever I say goes. Contestants were chosen at random from the ticket lines at the Tonight Show. Employees of NBC, their families or anyone who has ever seen Suckerpunch is ineligible. Ok lets meet Bob Van Arks. Whoa, relax there a little bit there Bob. [taps Bobs shoulder] Ill tell you what, why dont we come back and Ill talk to our returning champion, Sabrina Boyd.
Sabrina Boyd: Hi Chet.
Host: Sabrina, this is your eighth week back.
Sabrina Boyd: Thats right. [Host and Boyd chuckle, Boyd Suckerpunches Bob]
Host: Alright Sabrina, youre still our champion. Now tell us what youve won.
Sabrina Boyd: [starts picking pockets of contestants who had fallen] Well it looks like Ive won about $300 [screeches] oooh! And a Diners Club card. [starts jumping]
Host: Oh congratulations! Well thats it for Suckerpunch. This is Chet Futell saying Hey your shoelace is untied. [chuckes] Goodnight.
Submitted by: Ethan Greenberg