Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 17: Episode 10
Rob Morrow: Ah moron, how are ya?
Mike Myers: Hey idiot, fancy meeting you here.
Rob Morrow: Well I would have never come if I knew apple breath was gonna be here.
Mike Myers: [laughs] Well youre gonna have to live with it, wont you, oh smelly one.
Rob Morrow: Oh, what have you been doin lately? Eatin the puss out of your zits?
Mike Myers: Well no stinky, I just finished a book about you.
Rob Morrow: Is that right count fag-ula?
Mike Myers: Yes its called the life and time of a man with no penis, its pretty good.
Rob Morrow: Well Im glad you found time to read for a change instead of sniffing your finger all day like you always do. [Sandler and Spade walk in.] Hey if it isnt Mr. Douche and Mr. Bag, the Finnigan twins, how are ya?
David Spade: Pretty good booger belly, considering the fact that I just got finished shaving your moms back.
Mike Myers: And how about you Johnny Dingleberry, still having those fantasies about sniffing Ed Asners feet?
Adam Sandler: Woah easy there sergeant skid marks. Actually Ive been too busy pickin out my little hairs out of your sisters teeth.
Rob Morrow: Hey pigstains, where the hells our slices?
Kevin Nealon: Coming right up you oozing wad of stink. Ok I got pepperoni for Sir Scrotum [hands slide to Morrow], and I got onion for the Hemorrhoid King [hands slice to Myers], and I got anchovies for Micro Wang [hands slice to Sandler], and a little extra cheese for Mr. Herpes Simplex [hands slide to Spade], enjoy!
Rob Morrow: Well well well, if it isnt skank fest 92. [Beth Cahill, Melanie Hutsell and Siobhan Fallon enter.] What brings you skank bags here?
Siobhan Fallon: We wanted to see what it was like to watch 4 giant gerbil stuffing mutants eat pizza, and you know what? We came to the right place.
Melanie Hutsell: So what are you chunks of steaming corn infested dung up to?
Adam Sandler: Ah, just tryin to keep ourselves disease free you baloated yeast ridden hose bag.
Beth Cahill: Throwin a party across town, you chicken choking losers wanna come?
Rob Morrow: With you scab pickin tuna queens? Sure. [all leave table]
Kevin Nealon: Hope you all get killed tonight you sons of bitches.
Phil Hartman: [sitting at his table, lifting menu from in front of his face] Sticks and stones may break their bones, but apparently names will never hurt.
Submitted by: Ethan Greenberg