Spokesman…..David Spade
Woman…..Victoria Jackson

[ open in the Salon salon ]

Spokesman: Would you like your hair to have Sa-lon! finish, Sa-lon! shine, and Sa-lon! hold? Well, now you can! All your wildest Sa-lon! fantasies will come true – with new Sa-lon! Shampoo! [ holds up product ]

Follow these two simple steps: First, wash your hair; then say the word “Sa-lon!” like I do, with the accent on the first syllable. Keep saying the word “Sa-lon!” and feel your hair getting richer, fuller, fresher, thicker..

[ approaches Woman in the salon ]Say it! Say it!

Woman: Salon?

Spokesman: Sa-lon! Louder! Want it! Mean it!

Woman: Sa-lon! Sa-lon!

Spokesman: Yes! Feel it, you msut believe in the power of Sa-lon!

Woman: Yes! I feel it!

Spokesman: Here’s how Sa-lon works!

[ over animated demonstration ]

As you say “Sa-lon!”, impulses travel from your voicebox to your nerve endings, and into the hair follicle itself. The follicle is stimulated only when the accent is on the first syllable. Saying it incorrectly may seriously damage your hair.

[ in the middle of the crowd at the salon ]


Crowd Sa-lon!!

Spokesman: New Sa-lon! And remember: if you don’t look good, don’t blame us. That’s just your hair.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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