A Message From the President of the United States

A Message From the President of the United States

President George Bush…..Dana Carvey
Dan Quayle…..Jeff Renaudo

President George Bush: Well, good evening! You know, this is the first I’ve talked to you, the American people, since Tuesday, the day the people of New Hampshire delivered their message. Yes, I got it! Now, message received, loud and clear. Thank you, people of New Hampshire. You did your job, sent me the message, the message I got. Roger, Wilco! [ laughs ] Message received! You know, came in this ear, bounced around this cranial area right here, going round and round and round. Didn’t come out this ear – stopped! Got it!

Now, don’t worry, you Super Tuesday people. New Hampshire did your work, they sent their message.. [ mimics telegraph ] ..got it! Received! Got it, didn’t want to get it, but got it, got it good! And just to show you I got the message – and I got it – gonna write it down, message right here. [ takes out piece of paper and a marker ] Message being written right now. I’m moving the implement that will form the letters that will spell said message, the message that I got. And here is that message.. [ holds up sign reading “You’re Pissed!” ] [ Dan Quayle enters ]

Dan Quayle: Hi, George!

President George Bush: Well! Dan! My little Vice-President! Well, come on up here, Skipper! [ sits Quayle on his lap ] Look at you, growing like a weed, there! Sprouting up.. looks like somebody needs a trim!

Dan Quayle: We did good in New Hampshire, didn’t we, George? We got 53%! We won!

President George Bush: Well, Dan, that’s nice of you to say. But, let me tell you, for a sitting President, 53% is not good. It’s bad! It’s bad!

Dan Quayle: But you’ll beat Buchanan, won’t you! He’s ugly! [ hides his head in Bush’s arms ]

President George Bush: Oh, now, now, now.. He’s very emotional. now, Dan, take her easy. He’s not as cute as you are, little Skipper – never will be – but we don’t want to go negative. You see, the people were sending us a message. They don’t think we care about them.

Dan Quayle: But we do! We do care!

President George Bush: Well, now, good, DAn.. that’s good. Smart boy, talented.. always learning, always growing.. give me a smile. Give me a smile. Love those pearly whites! Well, now, run along now, someone’s bedtime, there you go!

Dan Quayle: [ gets up ] We’re gonna win! [ exits ]

President George Bush: Alright.. atta boy.. Bush.. Bush/Buchanan.. nah.. [ laughs ] To sum up: message received; Roger, Wilco; got the message.. [ holds up sign ]; no more message needed, got it; Dan Quayle, still gaining acceptance; “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Niiiigghhhtttt!!

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