Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 17: Episode 17
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
April 11th, 1992
Sharon Stone
Pearl Jam
None
Lorne Michaels
Tom Davis
Jim Downey
Warren Hutcherson
Robert Smigel
Terry Turner
Fred Wolf
Jon Lovitz
Wayne’s WorldSummary: Wayne (Mike Myers) and Garth (Dana Carvey) cast their picks for the Best & Worst moments at this year’s Oscars ceremony.
Recurring Characters: Wayne Campbell, Garth Algar.
Montage
Sharon Stone’s MonologueSummary: Dressed in her “Basic Instinct” garb, Sharon Stone sits on a chair at Home Base as men throughout the studio eagerly wait for an illicit peek under her dress.
Transcript
Jiffy Pop AirbagSummary: Now you can enjoy a delicious snack while you wait for the ambulance to arrive at the scene of your next accident.
Note: Repeat from 02/15/92.
Hitting on WomenSummary: Two grown men (Chris Farley, Adam Sandler) can’t form the words to ask out an attractive woman (Sharon Stone) at a bar.
Sex GamesSummary: Dan (Kevin Nealon) doesn’t quite get the hang of participating in a sexual fantasy with his wife (Sharon Stone).
Transcript
Flippy, The Flipping ChihuahuaSummary: Flippy, The Flipping Chihuahua is run over by Toonces the Driving Cat.
Recurring Characters: Toonces the Driving Cat.
Lung BrushSummary: Don’t stop smoking – clean your lungs instead.
Note: Repeat from 11/02/91.
Pat’s InterrogationSummary: Though androgynous Pat (Julia Sweeney) endures a “Basic Instinct” interrogation process, the mysterious gender isn’t revealed.
Recurring Characters: Pat.
Transcript
Pearl Jam performs “Alive”Also Performed: 93q, 05p.
Weekend Update with Kevin NealonSummary: Rob Schneider’s commentary on the environment reveals the answers he was given while conducting a door-to-door poll. Queen Shenequa (Ellen Cleghorne) declares that she won’t be paying her taxes this year because she’s a black woman. Victoria Jackson’s commentary about the Democratic Party is sidetracked so can sing “I Love A Cop.”
Airport Security CheckSummary: Suspecting an attractive woman (Sharon Stone) of being a terrorist, male security officers (Kevin Nealon, Dana Carvey, Rob Schneider) fake alarm notices and make her remove articles of clothing.
Ernie’sSummary: Ernie (Chris Rock) insults his wife (Ellen Cleghorne) with ridiculously long descriptions.
Transcript
Tayster’s Choice Spermicidal Jelly ISummary: A man’s (Dana Carvey) neighbor (Sharon Stone) bcomes to his door to borrow the product.
Transcript
Phil Hartman CreationsSummary: Phil Hartman shows off some of the wigs he’s worn on SNL over the years.
Transcript
Tayster’s Choice Spermicidal Jelly IISummary: A man’s (Dana Carvey) neighbor (Sharon Stone) returns the product to his apartment while he’s entertaining another woman (Julia Sweeney).
Transcript
Pearl Jam performs “Porch”
The Porno CoupleSummary: A man (Phil Hartman) and his fiancee (Sharon Stone) admit that the real nature of their lives involves excessive amounts of pornography.
Tayster’s Choice Spermicidal Jelly IIISummary: A man (Dana Carvey) again meets his neighbor (Sharon Stone) at her sister’s (Victoria Jackson) apartment.
Transcript
GoodnightsTranscript
