SNL Transcripts: Sharon Stone: 04/11/92: Sharon Stone’s Monologue

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 17: Episode 17




91q: Sharon Stone / Pearl Jam

Sharon Stone’s Monologue

…..Sharon Stone

Sharon Stone: Thank you very much! Thank you! I’m a little nervous! [ laughs ] You know, I think I’d feel a little more comfortable if I could sit down.. [ a chair resembling the one from “Basic Instinct” is brought in, Sharon sits ] Yeah.. that feels better.. [ crosses her legs and lights a cigarette ]

Voice of Director: Uh, Miss Stone, there’s no smoking during the monologue.

Sharon Stone: [ laughs ] What are you gonna do, Davey, take me off the air? We’re live. [ smokes ] You know.. I had a great week. I like working with these guys. They give me a lot of laughs. I love to laugh. It’s nice. It sends ripples of pleasure through my body..

[ cut to Chris Farley watching from offstage, excitement shining from his face ]

Leaving here is gonna be sad.. because I’ll miss all the pleasure they gave me..

[ cut to Lorne Michaels watching from offstage, excitement shining from his face ]

Especially the men.. because they’re so.. funny. But, you know what? [ puffs on her cigarette ] The women are funny, too.. very funny. That’s right.. the women made me laugh, too..

[ cut to Victoria Jackson watching from offstage, licking her lips in anticipation ]

You know who else made me laugh? The writers.

[ cut to writers Tom Davis, Jim Downey, Warren Hutcherson, Robert Smigel, Terry Turner and Fred Wolf watching from offstage, excitement shining from their faces ]??, Jim Downey, Herb Sargent, Robert Smigel, Tom Davis, Fred Wolf, Warren Hutcherson and ??Terry Turner

But not that much. I’m not gonna miss them. The stagehands weren’t that funny..

[ cut to the stagehands watching unhappily from offstage ]

Of course, that’s not their job. But they could have tried. [ puffs on her cigarette ] Well, anyway, I think we’ve got a great show tonight. And I think you’ll get a lot of pleasure out of it.. I know I will.. Pearl Jam is here.

[ cut to the Pearl Jam watching from offstage, excitement shining from their faces ]

Oh.. and one more thing.. [ starts to lift her leg, but casually stands up instead ] ..we’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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