SNL Transcripts: Sharon Stone: 04/11/92: Pat’s Interrogation


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 17: Episode 17

91q: Sharon Stone / Pearl Jam

Pat’s Interrogation

Interrogator #1…..Chris Farley
Pat…..Julia Sweeney
Interrogator #2…..Dana Carvey
Interrogator #3…..Phil Hartman

Interrogator #1: Could you tell us the nature of your relationship with.. Chris?

Pat: Why, I had sex with Chris for about a year-and-a-half. I like having sex with Chris! I like people who give me pleasure!

Interrogator #1: Did you and Chris play any kind of.. games in bed.

Pat: Yes.

Interrogator #1: Anything specific?

Pat: Role reversal! We felt it kept the relationship alive!

Interrogator #2: Did you and Chris practice safe sex?

Pat: Yes.

Interrogator #1: Which one of you put on the condom?

Pat: We put it on together, we made it a part of froepaly like the sex manual suggests. [ laughs, then uncrosses her leg and rubs its hand over its crotch ]

Interrogator #3: Listen, Pat – if you were a baby, what color would your Pampers be, pink or blue?

Pat: Diapers were all white back then!

Interrogator #2: You’re lying, Pat, you’re lying! You’re not teling the truth, and by God I’m gonna find out! You’re not telling the truth, Pat, I’m gonna figure you out! I’m gonna figure you out!

[ Pat looks worried ]

Jingle: “It’s time for androgyny
that’s just Pat!”

[ fade to black ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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