SNL Transcripts: Sharon Stone: 04/11/92: Pat’s Interrogation

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 17: Episode 17

91q: Sharon Stone / Pearl Jam

Pat’s Interrogation

Interrogator #1…..Chris Farley
Pat…..Julia Sweeney
Interrogator #2…..Dana Carvey
Interrogator #3…..Phil Hartman

Interrogator #1: Could you tell us the nature of your relationship with.. Chris?

Pat: Why, I had sex with Chris for about a year-and-a-half. I like having sex with Chris! I like people who give me pleasure!

Interrogator #1: Did you and Chris play any kind of.. games in bed.

Pat: Yes.

Interrogator #1: Anything specific?

Pat: Role reversal! We felt it kept the relationship alive!

Interrogator #2: Did you and Chris practice safe sex?

Pat: Yes.

Interrogator #1: Which one of you put on the condom?

Pat: We put it on together, we made it a part of froepaly like the sex manual suggests. [ laughs, then uncrosses her leg and rubs its hand over its crotch ]

Interrogator #3: Listen, Pat – if you were a baby, what color would your Pampers be, pink or blue?

Pat: Diapers were all white back then!

Interrogator #2: You’re lying, Pat, you’re lying! You’re not teling the truth, and by God I’m gonna find out! You’re not telling the truth, Pat, I’m gonna figure you out! I’m gonna figure you out!

[ Pat looks worried ]

Jingle: “It’s time for androgyny
that’s just Pat!”

[ fade to black ]

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