SNL Transcripts: Sharon Stone: 04/11/92: Tayster’s Choice I


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 17: Episode 17

91q: Sharon Stone / Pearl Jam

Tayster’s Choice I

Woman…..Sharon Stone
Man…..Dana Carvey
Announcer…..Phil Hartman
Partygoer…..Siobhan Fallon

[FADE IN on a feminine hand ringing a doorbell as chamber music plays in the background. ZOOM OUT as a man answers the door and grins to see a beautiful blonde in a black dress off the shoulders.]

Woman: [coolly] Hello. I’m sorry to bother you, but… I’m having a dinner party.

Man: And?

Woman: And… I’m out of spermicidal jelly.


Man: Come in.

Woman: Thank you.

[She walks in past him as he leers to the camera in approval. CUT to inside the apartment.]

Man: Would… Tayster’s Choice be too good for your guests?

[He deliberately holds up what appears to be a tube of toothpaste labeled “Tayster’s Choice.”]

Woman: Oh… I think they could get used to it.

Man: It’s a very sophisticated spermicidal jelly.

Woman: They have very sophisticated tastes.

Man: Do they?

Woman: [grins] Yes. Well… I must be getting back.

[She exits as he looks at the camera with a slow nod of approval. FADE to a product ID slide of the burgundy-and-white “Tayster’s Choice” tube. SUPERIMPOSE “Savor the sophistication of” at top.]

Announcer: Savor the sophistication of Tayster’s Choice Spermicidal Jelly.

[FADE to the blonde with another woman at her dinner party.]

Partygoer: [softly] So… have you met your new… neighbor yet?

Woman: [holding teacup] Oh, I’ve… popped in for spermicidal jelly.

[FREEZE on the blonde’s sexy grin, then SUPERIMPOSE, “To Be Continued.” FADE to black over applause.]

Submitted by: Sean

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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