SNL Transcripts: Sharon Stone: 04/11/92: Tayster’s Choice II

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 17: Episode 17




91q: Sharon Stone / Pearl Jam

Tayster’s Choice II

Man…..Dana Carvey
Date…..Julia Sweeney
Neighbor…..Sharon Stone
Announcer…..Phil Hartman

[FADE IN on the man and a dinner companion cradling teacups and smiling at each other as soft piano music plays in the background. The doorbell suddenly buzzes.]

Man: Excuse me.

[He answers the door and finds his sexy blonde neighbor standing with a sack of groceries in her arms.]

Neighbor: You saved my life the other night.

Man: [chuckles suavely] The dinner party.

Neighbor: The spermicidal jelly. Very successful.

Man: How can you… ever thank me?

Neighbor: I’ll think of something. But in the meantime, at least I can return your…

[pulls tube out of sack] …Tayster’s Choice. [hands him tube]

Man: Look, I’m… busy right now, but… perhaps…

Woman: Perhaps.

[She turns smoothly away, and the man turns back inside. FADE to product ID.]

Announcer: Savor the sophistication of Tayster’s Choice Spermicidal Jelly.

[FADE back to the man and his date just as before.]

Man: Just my neighbor. How was the… spermicidal jelly?

Date: Perfect. Where did you get it from?

Man: Oh, I… have it delivered.

[FREEZE on his smirking face. FADE to black over applause.]

Submitted by: Sean

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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