Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 17: Episode 17
Tayster’s Choice III
Man…..Dana Carvey
Sister…..Victoria Jackson
Woman…..Sharon Stone
Announcer…..Phil Hartman
[FADE IN on the man walking through a door with his date. Chamber music plays in the background.]
Sister: You’re right, I’m not.
Man: You don’t believe your own brother? Come on, I’m really sorry that I’m late.
[They walk in and stop at an elegantly decorated table surrounded by four very well-dressed people.]
Sister: I think you know everyone here, except…
[CUT to a blonde woman who looks at the man and freezes.]
Man: [softly] Oh, we’ve… met.
Woman: We, uh… shared the same taste in spermicidal jelly.
[FADE to product ID.]
Announcer: Savor the sophistication of Tayster’s Choice Spermicidal Jelly.
[FADE back to the man and the blonde woman sitting next to each other and cradling teacups.]
Woman: Are you always this late?
Man: I won’t be tomorrow.
Woman: [smiles] What’s happening tomorrow?
Man: I’m inviting you to dinner.
Woman: [laughs softly] What makes you think I’ll accept?
Man: You… can’t resist my spermicidal jelly?
[FREEZE on the couple as they both smile. FADE to black over applause.]
Submitted by: Sean
