SNL Transcripts: Sharon Stone: 04/11/92: Tayster's Choice III

Saturday Night Live Transcripts

Season 17: Episode 17

91q: Sharon Stone / Pearl Jam

Tayster’s Choice III

Man…..Dana Carvey
Sister…..Victoria Jackson
Woman…..Sharon Stone
Announcer…..Phil Hartman

[FADE IN on the man walking through a door with his date. Chamber music plays in the background.]

Sister: You’re right, I’m not.

Man: You don’t believe your own brother? Come on, I’m really sorry that I’m late.

[They walk in and stop at an elegantly decorated table surrounded by four very well-dressed people.]

Sister: I think you know everyone here, except…

[CUT to a blonde woman who looks at the man and freezes.]

Man: [softly] Oh, we’ve… met.

Woman: We, uh… shared the same taste in spermicidal jelly.

[FADE to product ID.]

Announcer: Savor the sophistication of Tayster’s Choice Spermicidal Jelly.

[FADE back to the man and the blonde woman sitting next to each other and cradling teacups.]

Woman: Are you always this late?

Man: I won’t be tomorrow.

Woman: [smiles] What’s happening tomorrow?

Man: I’m inviting you to dinner.

Woman: [laughs softly] What makes you think I’ll accept?

Man: You… can’t resist my spermicidal jelly?

[FREEZE on the couple as they both smile. FADE to black over applause.]

Submitted by: Sean

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020. View all posts by Don Roy King