SNL Transcripts: Jerry Seinfeld: 04/18/92: Postures


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 17: Episode 18

91r: Jerry Seinfeld / Annie Lennox


Dan…..Dana Carvey
Kevin…..Kevin Nealon
Ed…..Jerry Seinfeld
Dave…..Chris Farley
Mike…..Mike Myers
Suzanne…..Victoria Jackson
Boss…..Phil Hartman

[ open on interior, company staff room ]

Kevin: [ sitting with one leg resting on the other ] Hey, Dan, how’s that coming?

Dan: [ hand leaning upon chin ] Oh, pretty good, it’s.. is that a Third Quarter report you’re looking at?

Kevin: Yeah. Take a look at these numbers.

Dan: Okay. [ stands up, hand still leaning upon his chin ]

Kevin: Here’s what I’m conerned about.

Dan: [ looking ] Yeah.. that’s probably left over from the..

[ fax machine beeps ]

Kevin: That’s the fax. I’ll get it. [ walks across room, hopping on one foot because the his leg remains firmly hooked beside his other leg ]

Ed: [ enters room bent forward, hands behind his head ] Hey, everybody!

Dan: Hey, Ed.

Kevin: Ed.

Ed: What’s the good word?

Dan: Oh, just a couple discrepancies on the Third Quarter report.

Ed: Oh, don’t sweat it, Dan. I checked it out against yesterday’s draft. That’s just a clerical – no problem. [ sits down in his chair, head leans back to the wall, angling his behind-the-head posture to a perfect pose ]

Dave: [ walks with his hand stretched out, fitting perfectly against the wall ] Say, Ed, I left those blueprints on your desk. Could you look at them?

Ed: Sure, Dave. Just give me a minute.

Mike: [ crouching past the hall, posed in a sitting position, holding an open newspaper ] Excuse me, could you tell me where the, ah..

Kevin: Down the hall, second door on your left.

Mike: Thanks a lot! [ continues down the hall ]

Suzanne: [ enters room with both arms extended, legs crossed, head tilted ] Hey, guys!

Guys: Hey, Suzanne.. how are you?

[ they all crowd around Ed’s desk ]

Kevin: Ed, I’m worried about Suzanne.

Dave: I don’t think she’s working out.

Ed: I know. She.. [ stands ] Walk with me. [ they follow him, walking in their unusual postures ] I don’t know what it is. She just doesn’t seem to be fitting in.

Dan: Well, maybe we’re not making an effort.

Dave: I think it’s her.

Ed: [ looking across the room ] Hey, wait. Take a look!

[ with her arms extended, Suzanne is using one to change a light bulb, one to leaf through folders in a file cabinet, and a telephone below her neck ]

Suzanne: Hey, guys! [ the guys are in awe ] Hey, how’s the Third Quarter report coming?

[ the guys approach her, smiling ]

Dan: Great!

Dave: Hey, do you want to take a look at it?

Suzanne: Sure!

Ed: Hey, Suzanne, we’re having a company softball this weekend. Would you like to join us?

Suzanne: Yeah. I’d love to!

Kevin: [ peers into hall ] Holy Smokes! Here comes the boss!

[ everyone moves about in the room, finding the perfect place to sit or stand so their odd postures allow them to appear to be working effectively ]

Boss: [ enters, walking straight ] Hi, everyone.

Everyone: Hey, Boss! How you doing>

Boss: I’m glad to see everyone busy. Jenkins, is your outline ready for tomorrow’s presentation?

Dan: Uh.. right here, Sir. [ hands papers to him ] [ grabs report, glancing at it ] Yes, this should be very interesting. [ standing straight, he leans back and falls into the couch, stiff as a board ]

Dave: [ whispering ] He’s a tough customer.

Ed: [ smiling ] Yeah, but it’s great to watch him work.

[ fade to black ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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