SNL Transcripts: Tom Hanks: 05/09/92: Sabra Price Is Right



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 17: Episode 19














91s: Tom Hanks / Bruce Springsteen

Sabra Price Is Right

Uri Shurinson (Host)…..Tom Hanks
Harvey (Announcer)…..Rob Smigel
Contestant #1…..Siobhan Fallon
Contestant #2…..Chris Farley
Contestant #3…..Kevin Nealon
Stagehand #1…..Adam Sandler
Stagehand #2…..Rob Schneider
Contestant #4 (Jennifer Hughes)…..Julia Sweeney
Contestant #5 (Kevin Stubbs)…..Chris Rock
Contestant #6 (Eric Stegman)…..Mike Myers
Contestant #7 (Kalid Abdul Adiz)…..Dana Carvey

[Shot: Sabra Price Is Right game show set]

Harvey: Live from 47th Street between Broadway and 6th Avenue-you can’t miss it!-it’s SABRA PRICE IS RIGHT! Alright so let’s go with the game then. Here is the host, URI SHURINSON!

[Uri enters set]

Uri: Alright-alright-alright! Good-good-good! Yes-yes, welcome-welcome to Sabra Price Is Right! I am Uri! Okay so we show you beautiful merchandise; and you people, you guess price. So okay let’s look at first merchandise!

[Shot: cheap-looking clock-radio]

Harvey: Alright is Summit clock-radio! Clock-radio from Summit! Is good!

Uri: Okay-okay now who can tell me the correct price for the clock-radio? [To Contestant #1] You!

Contestant #1: I’ll guess $25.

Uri: What-what-what-what!? What you mean!? What you mean $25!?

Contestant #1: I don’t know-

Uri: Is a Summit clock-radio! Is great merchandise!

Contestant #1: Okay-$35?

Uri: Oh, $35! I don’t believe this! Alright-alright someone else! [Moves on to Contestant #2] You-you-you!

Contestant #2: I don’t know.$40?

Uri: $40 for a clock-radio!!??

Contestant #2: Uh, it doesn’t seem like-er-what’s it worth, really?

Uri: What is it worth!? Over $200! I sell it for less, you see!

Contestant #2: Okay, $75.

Uri: Oh! This is an insult, an insult! [moves on to Contestant #3] Okay, you! You!

Contestant #3: So it’s worth more than $75?

Uri: Yes-yes! At least $150!

Contestant #3: How about $80?

Uri: Alright-alright-alright $80. Is good, is good. [Takes Contestant #3 by the arm and drags him onstage.] Okay congratulations. [They are joined by two Stagehands, who bring on the clock-radio.] Nice clock-radio; and you give a check to my wife backstage.

Contestant #3: No, no, no-what check? I don’t want to buy it!

Uri: What do you mean? You asked for a deal!

Contestant #3: No, no, no. This is a game show-!

[Uri and the Stagehands chatter in Hebrew, while Contestant #3 is escorted backstage.]

Uri: Okay Harvey we need a new contestant!

Harvey: Okay so Jennifer Hughes, come on let’s go!

[Jennifer Hughes, AKA Contestant #4, emerges from the audience and takes what was Contestant #3’s mark.]

Uri: Alright; come-on-come-on-come-on; go-go-go-go-go-go; alright-alright; so-so, welcome-welcome!

Contestant #4: Hi, I’m a teacher from Northport-!

Uri: [cutting her off] No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no; please, this we do not care about. Just look at the item and guess price, alright?

Harvey: Is satellite dish from Pinnacle!

[Shot: worn-out and rusted V-aerial]

Uri: Pinnacle satellite dish, beautiful, for TV! Who is guessing, huh? Who, you? Let’s go, let’s go!

Contestant #1: I don’t think that looks like a satellite dish.

Uri: What-what-what you don’t think?! Huh?!

Contestant #1: Don’t they rotate?

Uri: Oh so now I have to explain how a satellite works?? Now come-on-come-on this is thousands of dollars! I don’t have time! [moves on to Contestant #2] You-you-you!

Contestant #2: Well, thousands?

Uri: Yes-yes of course!

Contestant #2: It’s just.. I never heard of the company Pinnacle.

Uri: So? Pinnacle is good company! Inside is same as Toshiba! TOSHIBA GUTS! Is same thing!

Contestant #2: Will it help me get channels?

Uri: It won’t hurt you getting channels. It won’t hurt-this is Pinnacle! Why should it? Now-now come on, come on! So make a bid, come on!

Contestant #2: Okay, $200.

Uri: No-no this is an insult; I quit this game show.

Contestant #2: $220?

Uri: Alright, price is right; very good, very good. [Taking Contestant #2’s arm, Uri herds him onto the stage, where both Stagehands rejoin them.] Come on, come on; get up here; let’s go, let’s go. Nice satellite dish; and you give a check to my wife backstage.

Contestant #2: But I don’t want to buy it!

Uri: It’s already wrapped!

Stagehand #2: It’s already on the truck!

Contestant #2: Yeah, well, I don’t want to buy it!

Stagehand #1: It’s wrapped and on the truck!

Uri: Look-look-look-look-look, you just go backstage and give a check to my wife okay? Alright Harvey next person!

[Contestant #2 continues to protest as both Stagehands, jabbering in Hebrew, escort him backstage.]

Harvey: Okay so Kevin Stubbs, come down let’s go!

[Kevin Stubbs, AKA Contestant #5, emerges from the audience and takes what was Contestant #2’s mark. Uri gazes at Contestant #5 suspiciously, while summoning Stagehand #1. Stagehand #1 comes over to stand at Uri’s side.]

Uri: [to Stagehand #1, indicating Contestant #5] Watch him. [Stagehand #1 just stands there looking at Contestant #5] Well? Go-go-go now! Go now! [Stagehand #1 moves back from Uri’s side and goes over to stand near Contestant #5.] Okay let’s see next beautiful item!

[Stagehand #1 stands right by Contestant #5, just staring right at him.]

Contestant #5: What are you looking at?

Stagehand #1: Nothing; I’m just standing here that’s all.

Uri: Come on come on, alright item please!

[Shot: rotary phone; the cord for its receiver has been ripped out]

Harvey: Is cordless telephone! No more cord for telephone!

Uri: [to Contestant #4] So you are very, very pretty so let’s go out.

Contestant #4: Oh, uh.I-I’m really here more to-

Uri: What, you don’t want to go out? Come on let’s go! We’ll go Disco!

[Both Stagehands walk up and begin adlibbing “Let’s go disco! We’ll goDisco!”]

Contestant #5: Uh, I got a guess-!

Contestant #1: My buzzer’s not working.

Uri: What-what-what you mean your buzzer? What happened, what happened to your buzzer? What happened, you broke buzzer? Okay, now you pay for.

Contestant #1: Pay for it!?

Uri: Yes-yes! You-Broke-You-Buy, it’s the rule!

Contestant #1: What am I going to do with a buzzer from a game show!!??

Uri: [demonstrating for her] Well why did you push so hard!? You push so hard!! Why did you push so hard!? You don’t have to push so hard!! You just tap; see, you just tap; see, you tap. But you, you push; you break it, you break it! [Pulls her onstage by the arm] Okay come on; you go give a check to my wife backstage. That’s a brand new buzzer!

Contestant #1: I thought this was supposed to be The Price Is Right!!

Uri: Is SABRA Price Is Right! Is same thing!

Contestant #1: What happened to Bob Barker!?

Uri: I am same person!! [Turns her around and sends her backstage]Alright-alright-alright new contestant Harvey!

Harvey: Alright so Eric Stegman! Come down let’s go!

[Contestant #6, AKA Eric Stegman, emerges from the audience and takes what was Contestant #1’s mark; he is carrying a cheap-looking CD player. A look of recognition crosses Uri’s face.]

Uri: Now you look familiar.

Contestant #6: Yeah well, uh, I’m really just here to return something.

Uri: What-what-what you mean? What-what-what return!?

Contestant #6: Well, uh-I “won” this CD player. [shows it to Uri].

Uri: Yes-yes, beautiful, yes!

Contestant #6: Yeah, well it cost $500. Now I checked around, okay, and it retails at $216.

Uri: Oh, we are not retailers.

Contestant #6: Yeah, okay, yeah.and it doesn’t work. Also, you said it had Sony guts.

Uri: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. What I said was, is like Sony guts. That was what I said.

Contestant #6: No, sorry; no, no, no.

Uri: Well what is your point!? When did you drop it?

Contestant #6: No, no.I didn’t drop it, okay? It’s not even a CD player. It’s a child’s bank!

Uri: Well this is what I told you, that it’s a display model. Yes!

Contestant #6: No, no, no, no, no, no; you didn’t tell me; no, no, no, no, no, no.!

Uri: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no, I did.Look-No, I did-I remember what I told you. I told you it was a child’s bank, not real CD!

Contestant #6: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, sorry!

Uri: I remember distinctly! Look-look-look-look, you are here to play the game. Harvey next item please!

[Shot: cheap-looking toaster-oven]

Harvey: Microwave from GE! Is General Electric! Very good!

Uri: [to Contestant #4] So when are we going to disco? Hm?

Contestant #4: Oh-uh, we-we’re not going.

[Uri is joined by both Stagehands, who stand behind and to the side ofContestant #4.]

Uri: What do you mean? To disco!

Stagehand #1: Disco!

Uri: Good!

Stagehand #1: Good!

Uri: Disco!

Stagehand #2: Disco!

Uri: Good!

Stagehand #2: Good!

Uri: Disco!

Harvey: Disco!

Uri: Good!

Harvey: Good!

Uri: Disco!

Both Stagehands: Disco!

Uri: Good!

Both Stagehands: Good!

[They continue chanting and disco-dancing for several more seconds.]

Uri: Alright, alright; alright, alright-Microwave, very expensive! Who is guessing?

Contestant #5: Hey, uh, what happened to the cordless phone?

Uri: Alright look-look-look just take it okay? Just take it, take it; you win, you win. [He shoves the phone into Contestant #5’s hands.] Yes okay go-go-go-go; out! [He rushes him from the buzzer toward Stagehand #1, who catches the Contestant by the shoulders.] Goodbye-goodbye-goodbye-goodbye!

Contestant #5: [to Stagehand #1] you don’t have to touch me! [He is led off by the Stagehand.]

Uri: Alright Harvey next person!

Harvey: Kalid Abdul Adiz!

[Contestant #7, AKA Kalid Abdul Adiz, emerges from the audience and takes what was Contestant #5’s mark; Uri wonders how an Arab got on his show.]

Contestant #7: Alright!

Uri: What-what is this!? How can you get to play!!??

Contestant #7: I am in audience!

Uri: Alright okay look-Microwave?

Contestant #7: $20?

Uri: What you mean, $20!? This is microwave! You are crazy!! This is General Electric microwave!!

Contestant #7: No it is not! Impossible!

Uri: Oh I don’t believe this! I don’t want to play. [Both he and Contestant #7 throw their hands up in disgust.]

Contestant #7: I don’t want to play!

Uri: I don’t want to play!!

Contestant #7: I don’t want to play!!!

Uri: Alright so let’s disco! [He starts dancing.] Disco-disco! Good-good! Disco-disco good-good! [He is joined by Contestant #7, and by both Stagehands.]

Harvey: This has been Sabra Price Is Right! See you next time!Disco-disco-good-good!

[Uri, the Stagehands and Contestant #7 continue disco-dancing on the set.]

Submitted by: Patrick Jackson

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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