SNL Transcripts: Woody Harrelson: 05/16/92: We’re Cowboys and We’re Proud



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 17: Episode 20


91t: Woody Harrelson / Vanessa Williams

We’re Cowboys and We’re Proud

Cowboy Woody … Woody Harrelson
Cowboy Dana … Dana Carvey
Cowboy Phil … Phil Hartman

[Three cowboys ride, side by side, atop their fakehorses across a Western landscape while singing thissong:]

Cowboy Woody:
Oh, I’m glad that I’m a cowboy
It’s the cowboy’s life for me
There’s not another kind of boy
That I would rather be

All:
Not a rich boy or a homeboy
Or a playboy out at night

Cowboy Woody:
I’m just glad that I’m a cowboy

All:
And I’m just as glad I’m white
[singing the refrain:]Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We’re glad God made us cowboys
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We’re cowboys and we’re proud

[Slight pause before the next verse as a horseneighs.]

Cowboy Woody:
Oh, I’m glad I’m not a city boy
‘Cause city boys ain’t macho

Cowboy Dana:
And I’m glad I’m not a bus boy
Like some Mexican muchacho

Cowboy Phil:
They say errand boys are underpaid
Whipping boys are bitter

Cowboy Woody:
I’m just glad I’m not a bat boy
For some Puerto Rican hitter

All:
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We’re glad God made us cowboys
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We’re cowboys and we’re proud

[Slight pause before the last verse as a horseneighs.]

Cowboy Dana:
Now, colored boys don’t like to work

Cowboy Phil:
And sissy boys love clothes

Cowboy Woody:
You can always spot a Jew boy
By his great big Jew boy nose

Cowboy Dana:
I would hate to be a fat boy

Cowboy Phil:
Or a Chinese boy from China

Cowboy Woody:
I’m just glad I’m not a girl boy
With a big ol’ girl vagina

All:
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We’re glad God made us cowboys
Whoopee-ti-yi-yi yippie-i-o
We’re cowboys and we’re proud

[Song ends]

Cowboy Woody: Giddyap, hoss boy! Comeon!

[Cheers and applause as we pull back to reveal theprop men below, rocking the prop horses – as well asthe sodium screen providing the Western landscape. Thestage manager rushes in to lead Woody Harrelson offstage.]

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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