SNL Transcripts: Nicolas Cage: 09/26/92



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 18: Episode 1


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:



Bit Players:


September 26th, 1992

Nicolas Cage

Bobby Brown

Jan Hooks

Lorne Michaels

Cher

Rob Smigel

Terry Turner

Bonnie Turner

Christine Zander
Husbands and WivesSummary: Woody Allen (Dana Carvey) and Soon-Yi Previn (Rob Schneider) awkwardly run into Mia Farrow (Jan Hooks) and Alan Dershowitz (Rob Smigel) outside the movie theater during a presenation of “Husbands and Wives”.

Recurring Characters: Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, Soon-Yi Previn, Tony Roberts, Alan Dershowitz, Frank Sinatra.

Transcript

Montage

Nicolas Cage’s MonologueSummary: Nicolas Cage delights in talking about his female co-stars’ body parts.

Transcript

CanisSummary: The cologne for dogs.

Transcript

The Adventures of Tiny ElvisSummary: Tiny Elvis (Nicolas Cage) marvels at the enormity of the normal-sized objects that surround him.

Transcript

Ross Perot Makes a DealSummary: Ross Perot (Dana Carvey) offers complete strangers money to perform bizarre stunts for his own pleasure, as proof of his own power.

Recurring Characters: Ross Perot.

Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey recalls his Uncle Caveman.

Note: Hub, Helios.

Repeat from: 91l.

Bobby Brown performs “Humpin’ Around”

Weekend Update with Kevin NealonSummary: Kevin Nealon delivers a subliminal commentary about Bill Clinton. Chris Rock comments on the first day of school. Opera Man (Adam Sandler) sings about Madonna and other recently celebrity gaffes.

Transcript

Baby NamesSummary: Mr. Asswipe Johnson ( Nicolas Cage) is extra-sensitve about choosing a name for wife’s (Julia Sweeney) expectant child.

Transcript

Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey muses on the top thing an Indian can do.

Transcript

NightlineSummary: Ted Koppel (Dana Carvey) moderates a Q&A session between Gov. Bill Clinton (Phil Hartman) and a series of stupid-yet-undecided voters.

Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton.

Transcript

Bobby Brown performs “Good Enough”

Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey ponders what frightens ants the most.

The Queen Shenequa ShowSummary: Queen Shenequa (Ellen Cleghorne) raps with Bobby Brown.

Recurring Characters: Queen Shenequa.

Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey ponders a world gone mad.

Transcript

Mr. Casual Sex

Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey offers a suggestion of what to do if you go temporarily insane.

Note: Repeat from: 91l.

Goodnights

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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