SNL Transcripts: Nicolas Cage: 09/26/92


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 18: Episode 1

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

September 26th, 1992

Nicolas Cage

Bobby Brown

Jan Hooks

Lorne Michaels


Rob Smigel

Terry Turner

Bonnie Turner

Christine Zander
Husbands and WivesSummary: Woody Allen (Dana Carvey) and Soon-Yi Previn (Rob Schneider) awkwardly run into Mia Farrow (Jan Hooks) and Alan Dershowitz (Rob Smigel) outside the movie theater during a presenation of “Husbands and Wives”.

Recurring Characters: Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, Soon-Yi Previn, Tony Roberts, Alan Dershowitz, Frank Sinatra.



Nicolas Cage’s MonologueSummary: Nicolas Cage delights in talking about his female co-stars’ body parts.


CanisSummary: The cologne for dogs.


The Adventures of Tiny ElvisSummary: Tiny Elvis (Nicolas Cage) marvels at the enormity of the normal-sized objects that surround him.


Ross Perot Makes a DealSummary: Ross Perot (Dana Carvey) offers complete strangers money to perform bizarre stunts for his own pleasure, as proof of his own power.

Recurring Characters: Ross Perot.

Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey recalls his Uncle Caveman.

Note: Hub, Helios.

Repeat from: 91l.

Bobby Brown performs “Humpin’ Around”

Weekend Update with Kevin NealonSummary: Kevin Nealon delivers a subliminal commentary about Bill Clinton. Chris Rock comments on the first day of school. Opera Man (Adam Sandler) sings about Madonna and other recently celebrity gaffes.


Baby NamesSummary: Mr. Asswipe Johnson ( Nicolas Cage) is extra-sensitve about choosing a name for wife’s (Julia Sweeney) expectant child.


Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey muses on the top thing an Indian can do.


NightlineSummary: Ted Koppel (Dana Carvey) moderates a Q&A session between Gov. Bill Clinton (Phil Hartman) and a series of stupid-yet-undecided voters.

Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton.


Bobby Brown performs “Good Enough”

Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey ponders what frightens ants the most.

The Queen Shenequa ShowSummary: Queen Shenequa (Ellen Cleghorne) raps with Bobby Brown.

Recurring Characters: Queen Shenequa.

Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey ponders a world gone mad.


Mr. Casual Sex

Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey offers a suggestion of what to do if you go temporarily insane.

Note: Repeat from: 91l.


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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