Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 18: Episode 1
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
September 26th, 1992
Nicolas Cage
Bobby Brown
Jan Hooks
Lorne Michaels
Cher
Rob Smigel
Terry Turner
Bonnie Turner
Christine Zander
Husbands and WivesSummary: Woody Allen (Dana Carvey) and Soon-Yi Previn (Rob Schneider) awkwardly run into Mia Farrow (Jan Hooks) and Alan Dershowitz (Rob Smigel) outside the movie theater during a presenation of “Husbands and Wives”.
Recurring Characters: Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, Soon-Yi Previn, Tony Roberts, Alan Dershowitz, Frank Sinatra.
Transcript
Montage
Nicolas Cage’s MonologueSummary: Nicolas Cage delights in talking about his female co-stars’ body parts.
Transcript
CanisSummary: The cologne for dogs.
Transcript
The Adventures of Tiny ElvisSummary: Tiny Elvis (Nicolas Cage) marvels at the enormity of the normal-sized objects that surround him.
Transcript
Ross Perot Makes a DealSummary: Ross Perot (Dana Carvey) offers complete strangers money to perform bizarre stunts for his own pleasure, as proof of his own power.
Recurring Characters: Ross Perot.
Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey recalls his Uncle Caveman.
Note: Hub, Helios.
Repeat from: 91l.
Bobby Brown performs “Humpin’ Around”
Weekend Update with Kevin NealonSummary: Kevin Nealon delivers a subliminal commentary about Bill Clinton. Chris Rock comments on the first day of school. Opera Man (Adam Sandler) sings about Madonna and other recently celebrity gaffes.
Transcript
Baby NamesSummary: Mr. Asswipe Johnson ( Nicolas Cage) is extra-sensitve about choosing a name for wife’s (Julia Sweeney) expectant child.
Transcript
Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey muses on the top thing an Indian can do.
Transcript
NightlineSummary: Ted Koppel (Dana Carvey) moderates a Q&A session between Gov. Bill Clinton (Phil Hartman) and a series of stupid-yet-undecided voters.
Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton.
Transcript
Bobby Brown performs “Good Enough”
Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey ponders what frightens ants the most.
The Queen Shenequa ShowSummary: Queen Shenequa (Ellen Cleghorne) raps with Bobby Brown.
Recurring Characters: Queen Shenequa.
Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey ponders a world gone mad.
Transcript
Mr. Casual Sex
Deep ThoughtsSummary: Jack Handey offers a suggestion of what to do if you go temporarily insane.
Note: Repeat from: 91l.
Goodnights
