Larry King Live
Larry King…..Kevin Nealon
Brian Wilson…..Tim Robbins
Ross Perot…..Dana Carvey
[ dissolve to hyper Larry King opening his show ]
Announcer: Welcome to “Larry King Live”. Tonight: founder of the Beach Boys, Brian Wilson, tells his personal struggles with personal life and private addictions. Now, here’s Larry King!
Larry King: Good evening! Beach Boy Brian Wilson, recovering alcoholic, manic-depressive, diet pill addict, and now, author of his own autobiography Wouldn’t It Be Nice?, a major bestseller. We’ll include your calls in a bit. The alcohol, diet pills – related to your music upbringing?
Brian Wilson: I think so.. But the diet pill issue was related to my weight gain.
Larry King: [ laughs like a squirrel ] That’s funny!
Brian Wilson: Yeah. I looked more like a beach ball.
Larry King: [ laughs like a squirrel ] That’s a riot! [ changes tone ] And the drugs?
Brian Wilson: They allow me to escape from memories of being abused by my father, which led to manic-depression.
Larry King: Uh-huh. And a manic-depressive is – in a thumbnail, if one could do that.
Brian Wilson: Well, manic-depressives have severe mood swings, either very high or very low. They’re horribly painful.
Larry King: Uh-huh. And depression can be triggered by anything, right?
Brian Wilson: Yeah.. I try to avoid stress..
Larry King: Good idea. Keep the stress to factor to a minimum – WACO, TEXAS!! HELLO!! [ Brian jumps back in panicked fear ] Our guest is Brian Wilson; the book is Wouldn’t It Be Nice?; the publisher, Simon & Schuster; the disease, manic-depression. Hello.
Ross Perot: Larry! Larry.. Larry.. Larry.. I-I-I just wanted to say, I’ve changed my mind again. I’ve decided to pull out of the race. I think it’s the right thing to do, Larry.
Larry King: Do you have a question for Brian?
Ross Perot: No question, Larry. You see, I-I just wanted to make my announcement on your program. You see? You see?
Larry King: ROSS PEROT!! [ turns to Brian ] Did it rattle you when people learned of your mental illness?
Brian Wilson: Well, I try not to let.. things rattle me any more.. my psychiatrist has me on a.. on a drug called Lithium..
Larry King: Uh-huh. and what does that do?
Brian Wilson: It keeps me calm, more or less!
Larry King: POWELL, ALABAMA!! HELLO!![ hang up ]
Larry King: A hang-up. Where did you go for your treatment?
Brian Wilson: [ nervous ] Uh.. I have a, uh.. a live-in psychiatrist in Los Angeles-
Larry King: LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA!! Right?
Brian Wilson: Uh.. right.. I-I.. he suggested I go to a clinic in Miami-
Larry King: MIAMI, FLORIDA!!
Brian Wilson: Yes.. And I was gonna go in Cincinn- anyway.. I’m back on my feet..
Larry King: Helped you slow down and relax.
Brian Wilson: Y-yes.. very soothing support..
Larry King: BOONESVILLE, MISSOURI!! Brian Wilson is the guest; lithium is the drug; manic-depression is the disease; the book, Wouldn’t It Be Nice?; published by Simon & Schuster. Next week: Robert Ludlum. Hello.[ Ross Perot appears on the monitor behind Larry and Brian ]
Ross Perot: L-Larry? Larry! Are you there? Here’s the deal.. here’s the deal, see? I’m back in! I just talked to the volunteers, and I’m back in! I’m jumping in with both feet, I’m as serious as a heart attack!
Larry King: Did you have a question for Brian?
Ross Perot: What’s that, Larry?
Larry King: Ross, did you have a question for Brian?
Ross Perot: No, sir! But I’m definitely back in! I’m as ready as a ham sandwich at a church picnic! Now.. uh.. hell, forget it – I’m back out!
Larry King: Alright, thank you, Ross! Alright. BANGOR, MAINE!!
Caller #1: Hi, Larry. I’m a doctor, and, from Brian’s appearance, I was wondering if he was taking any other drugs?
Larry King: How ’bout it, Brian – any other drugs?
Brian Wilson: Well.. I’m also on a sedative called Halcium..
Larry King: Uh-huh. And then?
Brian Wilson: Well, uh.. it keeps me calm.. gives me a.. a sense of balance..
Larry King: LOOKOUT MOUNTAIN, TENNESSEE!! Brian Wilson is the guest; balance is the word; lithium, the drug; the book, Wouldn’t It Be Nice?; I’m Larry King at CNN. Hello!
Caller #2: I would like to know what Brian’s plans are for the future?
Brian Wilson: Uh, um.. I’m not gonna look that far ahead.. I’m just taking one day at a time..
Larry King: That’s the way to do it, one day at a time – like that TV show with Valerie Bertinelli. Who will be with us tomorrow. Who was that other girl on the show; she also had an addiction problem. From the Mamas & The Papas, what was her name?
Brian Wilson: Uh.. Mackenzie Phillips..?
Larry King: Right. We go to ROANOKE, VIRGINIA!! Mackenize Phillips is the name; the show, “One Day at a Time”; our guest is Brian Wilson; the word is balance; the drug, lithium; manic-depression, the disease; the book, Wouldn’t It Be Nice. I’m Larry King! Next week, Robert Ludlum; the book, The Born Supremacy. Last call, hello?
Caller #3: Um.. I’m sorry.. I’m a little confused.. Who’s on your show tonight?
Larry King: [ laughs ] Brian Wilson!
Caller #3: Uh.. never mind. When is MacKenzie Phillips gonna be on?
Larry King: How ’bout it, Brian? Mackenzie Phillips, when will she be on?
Brian Wilson: Uh.. I don’t know..[ Ross Perot appears on the monitor behind Larry and Brian ]
Ross Perot: Larry! Larry! I got a question for Brian! See, now? Now, how do you write songs – which comes first, the words or the music? Also, I’m back in the race!
Larry King: Tomorrow night, Valerie Bertinelli from “One Day at a Time”; the actress, MacKenize Phillips. From Los Angeles, California, the Mamas & The Papas; lithium, the drug; balance. Next week: Robert Ludlum-[ Ross Perot appears on the monitor behind Larry and Brian ]
Ross Perot: Larry! Larry, I’m out! This process is degrading, it’s just sad!
Larry King: I’m Larry King from Washington, arrividerci!