Larry King Live

Larry King Live

Larry King…..Kevin Nealon
Brian Wilson…..Tim Robbins
Ross Perot…..Dana Carvey

Announcer: Welcome to “Larry King Live”. Tonight: founder of the Beach Boys, Brian Wilson, tells his personal struggles with personal life and private addictions. Now, here’s Larry King!

[ dissolve to hyper Larry King opening his show ]

Larry King: Good evening! Beach Boy Brian Wilson, recovering alcoholic, manic-depressive, diet pill addict, and now, author of his own autobiography Wouldn’t It Be Nice?, a major bestseller. We’ll include your calls in a bit. The alcohol, diet pills – related to your music upbringing?

Brian Wilson: I think so.. But the diet pill issue was related to my weight gain.

Larry King: [ laughs like a squirrel ] That’s funny!

Brian Wilson: Yeah. I looked more like a beach ball.

Larry King: [ laughs like a squirrel ] That’s a riot! [ changes tone ] And the drugs?

Brian Wilson: They allow me to escape from memories of being abused by my father, which led to manic-depression.

Larry King: Uh-huh. And a manic-depressive is – in a thumbnail, if one could do that.

Brian Wilson: Well, manic-depressives have severe mood swings, either very high or very low. They’re horribly painful.

Larry King: Uh-huh. And depression can be triggered by anything, right?

Brian Wilson: Yeah.. I try to avoid stress..

Larry King: Good idea. Keep the stress to factor to a minimum – WACO, TEXAS!! HELLO!! [ Brian jumps back in panicked fear ] Our guest is Brian Wilson; the book is Wouldn’t It Be Nice?; the publisher, Simon & Schuster; the disease, manic-depression. Hello.

[ Ross Perot appears on the monitor behind Larry and Brian ]

Ross Perot: Larry! Larry.. Larry.. Larry.. I-I-I just wanted to say, I’ve changed my mind again. I’ve decided to pull out of the race. I think it’s the right thing to do, Larry.

Larry King: Do you have a question for Brian?

Ross Perot: No question, Larry. You see, I-I just wanted to make my announcement on your program. You see? You see?

Larry King: ROSS PEROT!! [ turns to Brian ] Did it rattle you when people learned of your mental illness?

Brian Wilson: Well, I try not to let.. things rattle me any more.. my psychiatrist has me on a.. on a drug called Lithium..

Larry King: Uh-huh. and what does that do?

Brian Wilson: It keeps me calm, more or less!


[ hang up ]

Larry King: A hang-up. Where did you go for your treatment?

Brian Wilson: [ nervous ] Uh.. I have a, uh.. a live-in psychiatrist in Los Angeles-


Brian Wilson: Uh.. right.. I-I.. he suggested I go to a clinic in Miami-

Larry King: MIAMI, FLORIDA!!

Brian Wilson: Yes.. And I was gonna go in Cincinn- anyway.. I’m back on my feet..

Larry King: Helped you slow down and relax.

Brian Wilson: Y-yes.. very soothing support..

Larry King: BOONESVILLE, MISSOURI!! Brian Wilson is the guest; lithium is the drug; manic-depression is the disease; the book, Wouldn’t It Be Nice?; published by Simon & Schuster. Next week: Robert Ludlum. Hello.

[ Ross Perot appears on the monitor behind Larry and Brian ]

Ross Perot: L-Larry? Larry! Are you there? Here’s the deal.. here’s the deal, see? I’m back in! I just talked to the volunteers, and I’m back in! I’m jumping in with both feet, I’m as serious as a heart attack!

Larry King: Did you have a question for Brian?

Ross Perot: What’s that, Larry?

Larry King: Ross, did you have a question for Brian?

Ross Perot: No, sir! But I’m definitely back in! I’m as ready as a ham sandwich at a church picnic! Now.. uh.. hell, forget it – I’m back out!

Larry King: Alright, thank you, Ross! Alright. BANGOR, MAINE!!

Caller #1: Hi, Larry. I’m a doctor, and, from Brian’s appearance, I was wondering if he was taking any other drugs?

Larry King: How ’bout it, Brian – any other drugs?

Brian Wilson: Well.. I’m also on a sedative called Halcium..

Larry King: Uh-huh. And then?

Brian Wilson: Well, uh.. it keeps me calm.. gives me a.. a sense of balance..

Larry King: LOOKOUT MOUNTAIN, TENNESSEE!! Brian Wilson is the guest; balance is the word; lithium, the drug; the book, Wouldn’t It Be Nice?; I’m Larry King at CNN. Hello!

Caller #2: I would like to know what Brian’s plans are for the future?

Brian Wilson: Uh, um.. I’m not gonna look that far ahead.. I’m just taking one day at a time..

Larry King: That’s the way to do it, one day at a time – like that TV show with Valerie Bertinelli. Who will be with us tomorrow. Who was that other girl on the show; she also had an addiction problem. From the Mamas & The Papas, what was her name?

Brian Wilson: Uh.. Mackenzie Phillips..?

Larry King: Right. We go to ROANOKE, VIRGINIA!! Mackenize Phillips is the name; the show, “One Day at a Time”; our guest is Brian Wilson; the word is balance; the drug, lithium; manic-depression, the disease; the book, Wouldn’t It Be Nice. I’m Larry King! Next week, Robert Ludlum; the book, The Born Supremacy. Last call, hello?

Caller #3: Um.. I’m sorry.. I’m a little confused.. Who’s on your show tonight?

Larry King: [ laughs ] Brian Wilson!

Caller #3: Uh.. never mind. When is MacKenzie Phillips gonna be on?

Larry King: How ’bout it, Brian? Mackenzie Phillips, when will she be on?

Brian Wilson: Uh.. I don’t know..

[ Ross Perot appears on the monitor behind Larry and Brian ]

Ross Perot: Larry! Larry! I got a question for Brian! See, now? Now, how do you write songs – which comes first, the words or the music? Also, I’m back in the race!

Larry King: Tomorrow night, Valerie Bertinelli from “One Day at a Time”; the actress, MacKenize Phillips. From Los Angeles, California, the Mamas & The Papas; lithium, the drug; balance. Next week: Robert Ludlum-

[ Ross Perot appears on the monitor behind Larry and Brian ]

Ross Perot: Larry! Larry, I’m out! This process is degrading, it’s just sad!

Larry King: I’m Larry King from Washington, arrividerci!

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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