That’s Not Yogurt


That’s Not Yogurt

Husband…..Kevin Nealon
Wife…..Julia Sweeney

Husband: [ eating a cup of yogurt ] Mmm. Honey, this is greatyogurt.

Wife: That’s Not Yogurt.

Husband: Not yogurt? Come on, it sure tastes like yogurt.

Wife: That’s Not Yogurt.

Husband: No. Come on, taste it. Mmm.. Not yogurt?

Wife: No, Honey, look.. [ holds up container ] That’s Not Yogurt.

Husband: [ puzzled ] Hmm.. Then, what is it?

Announcer: I’ll tell you one thing – That’s Not Yogurt!

Husband: Well, if it isn’t yogurt, then what did I just swallow?

Announcer: Wouldn’t you like to know!

Husband: Yeah. I would.

Announcer: Well.. That’s Not Yogurt!

Husband: Look, I understand that. But what is it? Is it, like, somesort of sour cream? Is it, like, buttermilk? Cottage Cheese?

Announcer: That’s Not Yogurt!

Wife: No, seriously.. my husband is allergic to certain kinds offood.. so he really sort of needs to know exactly what it is.

Announcer: Sorry. But all we can tell you is – That’s Not Yogurt!

Husband: Look, I have a right to know what I just ate!

Announcer: It drives people crazy, trying to figure out the secretto the great That’s Not Yogurt taste. It’s smooth, thick, and creamy.. witha perfect mix of sweet and sour, just like real yogurt. Only, That’s NotYogurt!

Husband: Alright, come on.. what is it?

Announcer: Actually.. it is yogurt.

Husband: [ joyful ] Really.

Announcer: No. That’s Not Yogurt! That’s Not Yogurt! You’ll swearyou’re eating yogurt, but you’re not. It’s something else.

Female Voiceover: From the makers of Those Aren’t Olives.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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