“The Boulevard of Broken Balls”


“The Boulevard of Broken Balls”

Detective…..Christopher Walken

[ a detective leans against a lamp post on a dark night in the city ]

Detective: [ singing ]“Temptation lingers in the lamplight,
Upon her lips a shadow falls.
She loves to flirt, she loves to tease,
Beneath her skirt, some new disease.
The Boulevard of Broken Balls.

Her lovers lurk in every doorway
With prices written on the walls
So if you’re rich and have the cash,
You’ll get an itch, you’ll get a rash.
The Boulevard of Broken Balls.

You hear the whispers in the darkness
The laughter echoes and enthralls
They’re taking bets you’ll never know,
Your gigalette’s a gigolo,
The Boulevard of Broken Balls

She leaves a token of your romance,
A souvenir that hops and crawls.
You bring the crabs home to your wife,
She stabs you with a butcher knife.
The Boulevard of Broken Balls.”

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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