Ass Don’t Smell


Ass Don’t Smell

Bob…..Kevin Nealon
Male Co-Worker #1…..Rob Schneider
Male Co-Worker #2…..David Spade
Male Co-Worker #3…..Tim Meadows

Bob: Let me bring you up to date on the Civic Center project..

Male Co-Worker #1: [ sniffing the air ] Did somebody step insomething?

Bob: I had Ted draw these up over the weekend..

Male Co-Worker #1: Oh, come on! Doesn’t anybody else smell it?

[ turns around and disgusts tow other co-workers with the smell from his ass ]

Bob: I think we’ve finally solved the underground garage problem..

Male Co-Worker #1: I’m sorry. I can’t concentrate. Can’t we do thisover the phone?

Male Co-Worker #2: Yes!

[ everyone leaves the office, leaving confused ] [ SUPER: The Next Day ]

Bob: [ notices Ass Don’t Smell canister on his desk ] Ass Don’t Smell?[ thinking ] Hmm.. maybe osmebody’s trying to tell me something..

Announcer: Scrubbing doesn’t work; perfumes only cover it up; and whohas the time to soak? Forget all that junk, and step up to Ass Don’t Smell.

[ SUPER: A Week Later ]

Male Co-Worker #3: Hey, Bob! Congratulations on the CivicCenter project!

Bob: Thanks!

Male Co-Worker #3: [ notices canister in Bob’s locker ] Huh? AssDon’t Smell? But your ass doesn’t smell.

Bob: [ smiling confidently ] Exactly.

Announcer: Ass Don’t Smell. The name says it all. Now, in newtamper-proof package.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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