Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

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Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey


Jack Handey V/O:
If I was a doctor, operating on a patient,
and he died on me, and his spirit was hovering
above his own body, looking down on it,
I would take out a $100 bill, flash it at the spirit
and then stuff it in the hand of the dead body.
This would coax the spirit to return to his body.
If that didn’t work, I’d put the body’s hand
on the breast of a nurse.
That ought to do it.
In any case, I’d take the $100 bill back
before he woke up.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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