An Insane Idiot And His Collection Of Descending-Size Deer Heads

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An Insane Idiot And His Collection Of Descending-Size Deer Heads

Insane Idiot…..Harvey Kietel


Insane Idiot: Hi. Welcome to my Deer Heads. [ stands in front of large Deer Head ] This first Deer Head is a real beauty, as you can see. Big fella, ten pointer, I got him about three years ago.

[ stands next to smaller deer ]

This is a smaller one I shot the next year.

[ stands next to even smaller deer ]

This is a baby deer.

[ stands next to even smaller deer ]

And this one is the baby of that deer.

[ stands next to small pet deer ]

This is a little miniature deer that I got as a pet.. then I got tired of it and shot it.

[ stands next to freakishly small deer ]

Now, this is a little freak deer. A scientist friend of mine developed it – the neighbor’s cat got a hold of it and, luckily, left the head.

[ stands next to a mouse head with fake horns ]

This is a mouse. But I put some little deer horns on it, and I don’t know why. A friend of mine asked me, “Is it a deermouse?” [ laughs ] I said, “I don’t know, but it’d be funny if it was, though!”

[ stands next to a toy deer head ]

This is what we call a toy deer. I bought it at Toys ‘R’ Us, then cut its head off and stuck it up there.

[ stands next to an any mounted on the wall ]

This is a really big ant I found.

[ stands next to three little white dots mounted on the wall ]

And these are its eggs.

[ stands next to a microscope mounted on the wall ]

Now, this. I don’t know if you can get your camera in there or not. Go ahead and look on in there. [ view shows amoeba flaoting around ] In the upper left hand corner – you see that thing? That is a deer – or, at least, that’s my theory. And, if I could get my hands on one of those electron scalpels, or whatever you call them, I think I could cut its head off. [ holds up his empty Scotch glass ] Well, it looks like I knew a refill. [ crosses his row of Deer Heads to his wet bar ]

Announcer: This has been “An Insane Idiot And His Collection Of Descending-Size Deer Heads”.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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