SNL Transcripts: Luke Perry: 02/06/93: Sassy’s Sassiest Boys


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 18: Episode 12

92l: Luke Perry / Mick Jagger

Sassy’s Sassiest Boys

Russell Clark…..Phil Hartman
Christian Slater…..David Spade
Marky Mark…..Adam Sandler
Rick Schroeder…..Luke Perry

Russell Clark: Hello, I’m Russell Clark, Senior Editor of Sassy Magazine! With me in our studio are three of the sassiest young men in America today! Actor Christian Slater —

Christian Slater: Greetings and salutations.

Russell Clark: That’s sassy! Rapper Marky Mark —

Marky Mark: Yeah, come on, come on, come on! You know what it’s like, yeah!

Russell Clark: Very sassy! And actor Ricky Schroeder.

Rick Schroeder: Rick.

Russell Clark: So sassy! [ laughs ] Now, Christian, do you consider yourself “sassy”?

Christian Slater: I don’t know, you tell me.

Russell Clark: I’d say.. sassy! Well, how about you, Marky? Same question: are you “sassy”?

Marky Mark: Yeah, youknow.. come on, come on, that’s buggin’, yeah!

Russell Clark: Sassy, anyone? [ laughs ] Now, Ricky..

Rick Schroeder: Rick.

Russell Clark: Ricky..

Rick Schroeder: Rick.

Russell Clark: Okay, Rick Are you “sassy”?

Rick Schroeder: Sass.

Russell Clark: The French have a word for it – sassé! [ laughs ] Christian, tell me, please how do you explain your sassiness?

Christian Slater: Well, I always say life is like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride – we’re all just hanging on and someday it’s gonna crash.

Russell Clark: Somebody say “sassy”? Now, Marky, your brother Donny Wahlburg produces all your albums, so settle a question for us: between you and your brother, who would you say is the more “sassy”?

Marky Mark: Yeah, that is large, man, he’s on my jock, buggin’ with the three nipples.. Check this out! [ drops his pants and starts dancing ] Come on! Come on!

Russell Clark: The word “sassy” comes to mind. Now, Rick, I thought you were sassy back when I first saw you in “The Champ”, and yet, you were only six years old at that time.

Rick Schroeder: [ peeved ] Hey, that was Ricky Schroeder, that was a kid! We’re two different people! I’m Rick Schroeder now, I’m a man!

Russell Clark: [ holds up sign that reads “Sassy” ] Okay, Rick, tell us about your show “Silver Spoons”. Did you find that a “sassy” experience?

Rick Schroeder: It was okay.

Christian Slater: Ah, that was you in “Silver Spoons”? Hey, quite a performance, I found it riveting!

Rick Schroeder: Hey, I’m not that kid any more! That was Rick-y!

Russell Clark: I feel like I’m in a sassy sandwich!

Rick Schroeder: Who are you talking to, man, come on.

Russell Clark: No one. Never mind.

Marky Mark: Yo, come on, check this out! [ drops his pants and dances ] Come on! Come on! Come on!

Russell Clark: Let’s put it to a vote. Audience?

Audience: Sassy!

Russell Clark: [ chuckles ] Well, we’re almost out of time. I’d like to thank Rick, Mark and Christian for joining me today, and come back soon.

Rick Schroeder: Oh, thanks for having us..

Christian Slater: We must do this again sometime..

Marky Mark: Yeah, damn!

Russell Clark: If they’re not sassy, I don’t know what is. Good night!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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