SNL Transcripts: John Goodman: 03/13/93: Wilson Countersink Flanges


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 18: Episode 15

92o: John Goodman / Mary J. Blige

Wilson Countersink Flanges

Spokesman…..Phil Hartman
Engineer #1…..Rob Schneider
Engineer #2…..Chris Farley

[ open on Spokesman walking through a manufacturing plant ]

Spokesman: Hi! Does this ever happen to you?

[ mechanical equipment malfunctions ]

Engineer #1: Looks like the countersink flange went out on the CD-7 unit multiplier, knocking out hydraulic torque to the electric heat riser.

Engineer #2: Again?

Spokesman: Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Most countersink flanges will experience hydraulic torque leak throughout their less than 7,000 RQMs. Especially when coupled with the double-flux lumen switcher. But with Wilson Countersink Flanges and Dorry Flanges, hydraulic torque is allowed to bypass the settling clutch, providing steady wall pressure to the lug manifold and all the seismic rotors. And that goes for 7,000 RQMs, 8,000 RQMs, even up to 10,000 RQMS. That’s right! 10,000!

Engineer #1: There, that does it! With that new Wilson Countersink Flange, this CD-7 should be able to handle vacuum-kickback on all 22 blossom valves!

Engineer #2: Now, if I could just get my kid to mow the lawn!

[ they laugh ]

Spokesman: Wilson Countersink Flanges and Dorry Flanges. Because when you’ve got hydraulic torque leakthrough, every second can mean lost pranktens!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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