SNL Transcripts: Miranda Richardson: 03/20/93: Russell Simmons’ Def Magic Show Jam


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 18: Episode 16

92n: Bill Murray / Sting

Russell Simmons’ Def Magic Show Jam

Rabbit Magician….Chris Rock
Saw Magician….Tim Meadows
Assistant….Ellen Cleghorne

Announcer: Yo’! Whassup?! Stay tuned after Russell Simmons’s Def Comedy Jam for Russell Simmons’s Def Magic Show Jam!

[A guy in an loud urban ghetto costume is at the Apollo Theater in Harlem performing his magic act to a large black audience]

Rabbit Magician: Yeah, you muthafuckas don’t think I got a muthafuckin’ rabbit in this hat! Right?! I know you muthafucka’s don’t think I got a muthafuckin’ rabbit in this hat! Right?! You niggas want to see a muthafuckin’ rabbit? Cause as soon as I pull out this muthafuckin’ rabbit, ya’ll can kiss my muthafuckin’ ass! [black audience laugh hysterically, pump their fists up, jump from the seats] Now, here we go! Abraca–muthafuckin’–dabra! [pulls out a rabbit from the hat] See, I told ya’! I told ya’! I told y’all I had a muthafuckin’ rabbit! [black audience jump up and down laughing like crazy] That’s right!

Announcer: Moses Malone says: “That is some fucked up magic show!”

[A black magician with a saw on his hand and a red cape orders his assistant to get in the box he’ll be sawing her in half in.]

Saw Magician: Get in the muthafuckin’ box bitch!

Assistant: You get in the muthafuckin’ box!

Saw Magician: Hey, don’t fuck with me bitch!

Assistant: All right. But if you cut me, I’m gonna fuck you up!

Saw Magician: Shit, I cut your fat ass in half and keep the half with the pussy cause the other half talks too muthafuckin’ much!

[Black audience roars with laughter, they jump, cackle, scream, pump their fists] [Saw Magician chases his assistant around the sawing box]

Announcer: Russell Simmon’s Def Magic Show Jam! Coming up on muthafuckin’ HBO! Boy-y-y-y-y!!!!


Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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