Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 18: Episode 16
Eager & Jones
Announcer: They’ve entartained audiences for years, and now PioneerRecords is proud to present the song stylings of Eager and Jones. They’renot gay, but they sing as if they were! Here them sing![ SUPER: “Where Is The Love” ]
Eager: [ singing ]“Where is the love you said you’d give to me?”
Jones: [ singing ]“As soon as you were free
was it up to me?”
Together: “Where is the love?”
“Solid! Solid as a rock.
That’s what this love is
And the feeling’s so hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot!”
Bill! I love you so and I always will”
Eager: I look at you and see the passion I’ll find someday.”
Jones: Oh, but am I ever gonna see my wedding day?”
Together: “Won’t you marry me, Bill?”
Announcer: Jerome Eager and Tad Jones: two of the greatest voices inthe world, and two of the straightest guys you’d ever want to meet, singyour favorite songs of love as if they were gay. But that’s not all, becausethey also sing solo songs as if they were gay! Including:[ SUPER: “It Must Be Him” ]
Eager: [ singing ]“It must be him, it must be him
Oh dear God, it must be him
Or I would die
Yes, I will die”
Jones: [ singing ]“He touched me!
He touched me!
And nothing, nothing is the same!”
Announcer: And, if you order now, you’ll recieve, as an additionalbonus, this limited Eager and Jones collection: “Songs As If They Were Really,Really Gay.”
Eager: [ singing ] “Let’s get it on!”
Jones: “Oh baby!”
Eager: “Let’s get it on!“
Jones: “Let’s love, sugar!”
Announcer: Eager and Jones. They’re hot, but not for each other!To order, call 1-600-AS-IF-GAY, and get yours today.
Jones: We hope you enjoy our music.
Eager: We know our wives will.[ SUPER: “Do That To Me One More Time” ]
Together: [ singing ]“Do that to me one more time
Once is never enough with a man like you!”
Submitted by: Michael Cauley