Charles Barkley’s Monologue


Charles Barkley’s Monologue

…..Charles Barkley


Charles Barkley: Thank you! Alright! Hosting “Saturday Night Live”! You know, I actually was not their first choice. They did want somebody from the NBA, but being Yom Kippur and all, I was the only one they could get. I’m one of the few non-Jewish players in the league. It’s been a fun week, working with the cast, watching Nirvana rehearse – even got to play a little basketball. You see, a while back I played basketball with Godzilla. Everyone here, and myself, thought it would be fun to have a rematch – you know, rent a gym, play a little one-on-one, but give the profits to charity.

[ dissolve to the basketball court, Charles bouncing the basketball ]

Charles Barkley V/O: We ran into a problem – at the last minute, Godzilla cancelled. We were incredibly lucky to find a worthy replacement – Barney.

[ Barney dances on the court ]

Charles Barkley: Hey, Barney, thanks for doing this on such short notice.

Barney: That’s okay, Charles. That’s what caring and sharing are all about!

Charles Barkley V/O: It really didn’t matter to me who won – I just wanted to have a good time..

[ Charles makes a series of slam dunks around Barney ]

Charles Barkley: [ close-up, in Barney’s face ] Hey, Barney! What’s going on? What we doin’, babe? What’s going on? [ jumps for slam funk, knocking Barney to the floor ]

[ a series of rough basketball moves that leads to Barney’s costume falling apart ]

Charles Barkley: [ close-up, in Barney’s face ] What’s wrong, bro? Had enough? [ smacks basketball on Barney’s head, knocking one of his fake eyes out ]

Charles Barkley V/O: We sure had a lot of laughs that day. We played a good game, but, most importantly, I made a new friend.

[ Charles and a beat-up Barney exit the court ]

[ dissolve back to Charles at Home Base ]

Charles Barkley: We’ve got a great show, Nirvana’s here, so stick with us, we’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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