NCI Long Distance
Consumer #1…..Kevin Nealon
NCI Spokesman…..David Spade
Consumer #2…..Melanie Hutsell
Consumer #3…..Rob Schneider
Consumer #4…..Ellen Cleghorne
Consumer #5…..Phil Hartman
[ show logo: “NCI: The new long distance company” ]
Consumer #1: My Long Distance company gives me a discount when I call my favorite area code. What about my favorite zip code?
NCI Spokesman: NCI will discount your favorite area code, zip code, or any other type of code. We’re the leading discounter of codes.[ Flash: “Code Discounts” ]
Consumer #2: Sometimes, when I call people, they’re not there to answer the phone. That bothers me.
NCI Spokesman: With NCI, the person you’re calling will always be there to answer the phone. No matter when you call – we guarantee it.[ Flash: “The NCI Guarantee” ]
Consumer #3: People don’t call me as often as I like.
NCI Spokesman: With NCI, you’ll get calls all the time – from people who like you and respect you.[ Flash: “Respect” ]
Consumer #3: What about pretty girls?
NCI Spokesman: Yes![ Flash: “Pretty Girls” ]
Consumer #4: How come 123456789 isn’t a number? Why can’t it be my number?
NCI Spokesman: Consider it done![ Flash: “Extra Long Phone Numbers” ]
Consumer #2: Can that be my number, too?
NCI Spokesman: Sure![ Flash: “Whatever” ]
Little Girl: I want a pony!
NCI Spokesman: Take a look in your backyard.[ Flash: “Ponies” ]
Consumer #5: I hate my boss. I want him dead!
NCI Spokesman: That we will not do.[ Flash: “No Murder” ]
Consumer #5: I want a phone company that will murder my boss.
NCI Spokesman: Fine. If you switch to NCI now – the next time you make a long-distance call, we will murder your boss. And you’ll recive one hour of free calls to anywhere in the continental United States.[ Flash: “Fine, Murder” ] [ show logo: “NCI: The new long distance company” ]
NCI Spokesman: NCI. We want to be your phone company.