Crystal Gravy
Man…..Kevin Nealon
Woman…..Julia Sweeney
[ open on far shot of Planet Earth, with SUPER: Let’s Be Clear ]
Announcer: Earth wasn’t created in seven days.
[ show waterfall, with SUPER: Clearly Natural Is Best ]There are some things man will never improve on.
[ show man and woman jogging, with SUPER: SPEAK OUT ]Don’t take what you’re given.
Why can’t we be cleaner?
[ show time-lapse footage of roses blooming, with SUPER: Na-tu-ral:(adj) of or relating to nature – Natural ]We’re hungry for something different.
[ SUPER: DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET ] [ Music Intro: “Right Now”, Van Halen ] [ show clear gravy pouring, with SUPER: Why Can’t You See Anything? Let’s Make This Crystal Clear ] [ show bottle of Crystal Gravy ] [ Crystal Gravy is poured over meat and potatoes, with SUPER: “Clear + Gravy = Clear Gravy – I Don’t See Any Lumps ] [ show pot of gravy turn clear, with SUPER: Just Like Mom Used To Make – Clearly ] [ show Man wash his face with it, with SUPER: You Can See Through It ] [ show Woman dip chicken leg in her Crystal Gravy, with SUPER: Someone Just Got A Taste Of The Future ] [ SUPER: Lighter, Cleaner, More Transparent ] [ SUPER: Finally You Can See Your Meat ]Crystal Gravy. You’ve never seen a gravy like this.