The Wave


The Wave

Michael…..Jeff Goldblum
Julia…..Julia Sweeney
Braves Fan #1…..Chris Farley
Braves Fan #2…..Adam Sandler
Father…..Phil Hartman

[ open on Fulton County Stadium, Atlanta, GA ]

Michael: Oh boy, isn’t this amazing, honey?

Julia: Ah, it’s okay.. the game’s kind of slow.

Michael: Slow? This is the Play-offs! The ntire country’s watching us on TV.

Julia: I know.. it’s just..

Michael: Hey, hey! I got an idea! You’re gonna love this! Watch this! Ho!

Julia: What are doing?

Michael: Watch this! Just watch me! Alright.. everybody – Ho!

Julia: Michael..

Michael: Wait a minute.. this is gonna be great! Okay.. everybody! 1, 2, 3!

Everyone: Ho-o-o-o-o!!

[ the wave is launched ]

Michael: Did you see that, honey! Did you see what I did? Are you watching it? Are you watching it?

Julia: Oh, that’s great!

Michael: Oh, yeah, yeah. Look at that baby go! Here it comes again! Get ready, get ready! [ wave rolls past again ] Yeah! Pretty cool, guys, huh?

Braves Fan #1: Right! Go Braves!

Michael: No, no.. I’m talking about that wave, the one I started, before? That was me.

Braves Fan #2: Oh, wow.. yeah, really.. you know what? Nobody cares!

Michael: No, no.. I’m talking about that wave.

Julia: Honey, just calm down..

Michael: What? I’m just telling those guys. You know, I did start the thing, that was my idea.

Julia: I think they realize that.

Michael: Well.. okay.. [ pause ] Honey, listen, stand up and tell them I started that wave. You know, I did it for you.

Julia: I don’t think they care!

Michael: Well.. but they will if you tell them. You know, they’ll believe you. It’ll sound like I’m just tooting my own horn..

Voice in Crowd: Hey, hey, hey! Here it comes!

[ wave rolls past again ]

Michael: Yeah, see that? That was my work! That was me! They’re acting like waves just appear. Somebody has to take charge. Waves don’t just happen.

Braves Fan #1: Foul ball!

[ man next to Michael and Julia catches a foul ball, enjoying the praise from everyone around him ]

Michael: Fantastic. Congratulations. This guy catches a ball, everyone cheers. You know, I unite over 60,000 people, and nothing – to hell with me!

Julia: Just forget it..

Michael: Yeah.. you know what? You know what? The next time my wave comes by, don’t stand up! I’m stopping this wave! I gave it to them, I can take it away!

Julia: Honey, really, I.. I..

Michael: [ stands ] Hey, hey! Attention, everybody! I’m stopping this wave! Nobody stand! [ wave rolls past anyway ] That is my wave! That’s me! I did that! I did it! I did it!

Father: Would you, sir, mind keeping it down? My son and I are trying to enjoy the game. [ turns to his son ] Son, this is just like when my dad used to take me to the ball park..

Michael: Uh.. excuse me, excuse me.. No, that’s not exactly true, That’s not true, son.

Father: You talking to me?

Michael: Yeah, that’s right! This is not like when your dad took you to the ball park. Nowadays, people, like me, start waves, which makes the game more fun. Your son is having more fun now than you had with your father, because of me. I’m the reason. Can you see that?

Father: Can you get away from us?

Michael: Well, just teach the kid some gratitude. A simple, “Thanks for the great wave, mister” would suffice. Okay?

Julia: Honey, your wave stopped.

Michael: Oh.. well, good.

Julia: Good.. good.

Michael: If they think I’m gonna start another one, they can forget it! [ mulls ] I don’t believe this..

Julia: What’s wrong?

Michael: It’s just that, now would be a perfect time to start a new wave, and I’m the only one here who can sense that.

Julia: Well, if it’s really bothering you, then start one.

Michael: Oh, what, and be used again? Yeah, that’s be brilliant. No, no.. there’s gotta be something.. [ stands ] Da da da da da da!

Everyone: Charge!!

Michael: [ sits, smiling ] Ah, I’m a natural leader, what can I say?

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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