SNL Transcripts: Rosie O’Donnell: 11/13/93: Frank Sinatra: Duets


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 19: Episode 6

93f: Rosie O’Donnell / James Taylor

Frank Sinatra: Duets

…..Casey Kasem
Frank Sinatra…..Phil Hartman
Barbra Streisand…..Mike Myers
Steve…..Kevin Nealon
Bono…..Adam Sandler
Liza Minelli…..Rosie O’Donnell
Meat Loaf…..Chris Farley
Anita Baker…..Ellen Cleghorne
Kenny G…..Jay Mohr
k.d. Lang…..Rob Schneider
Wynonna Judd…..Melanie Hutsell
Nancy Sinatra…..Julia Sweeney
Frank Sinatra, Jr…..Dave Attell
Luther Vandross…..Tim Meadows
Tom Petty…..David Spade
Natalie Merchant…..Sarah Silverman
…..James Taylor

Casey Kasem: Hello, once again, everybody, I’m Casey Kasem! Well, Ol’ Blue Eyes is back with a little help from his friends. Frank Sinatra’s Duets album makes a splashing debut, all the way up there at #2, first week on the countdown. With songs by Barbra Streisand, Liza Minelli, and even Bono. Luckily, cameras were there to capture these historic recording sessions, so let’s take a look right now at the making of Frank Sinatra’s Duets!

[ dissolve to Frank Sinatra’s recording studio, where he’s finishing a duet with Barbra Streisand ]

Frank Sinatra: [ singing ]“‘Cause I’ve got a crush on yooooooou!”

Baby! Cut it, that’s a keeper! Hit the road, Babs!

Barbra Streisand: Frank, I just want to say that this was my –

Frank Sinatra: The meter’s running! See the door? Use it!

Barbra Streisand: What, you don’t want to meet Andre?

Frank Sinatra: Stay out of the cradle, Nose!

[ Barbra exits abruptly ]

Steve: Okay, Frank, that was great. A real beauty.

Frank Sinatra: Let’s keep it moving, Steve. Who’s next?

Steve: We’ve got Bono, from U2.

Bono: [ enters ] How you doing, Mr. Sinatra? As a child, my mom played your songs all the time in the parlor.

Frank Sinatra: Don’t write me a book, kid.

Bono: Alright. Look, I’ve written a special song for us, it’s about how technology is ruining humanity –

Frank Sinatra: “I’ve Got You Under My Skin”! 1, 2, 3!

[ singing ]“I’ve got you under my skin.
I’ve got you deep in the heart of me.”

Take it, Cher!

Bono: “So deep in my heart, you’re a part of me.”

Frank Sinatra: Bring it home!

Bono: “You never can win..”

Frank Sinatra: A little bit more!

Together: “I’ve got you under my skin.”

Frank Sinatra: Alright, how’s that, Steve!

Steve: Great, Frank.

Frank Sinatra: Okay, next tune! See you, kid, good job!

Bono: I think I can do it a little better if you give me a second try.

Frank Sinatra: I’m 93, baby. When you’re pushing a century, there’s no Take 2! Get out, Bozo!

Bono: Uh, you don’t understand – I want to do it again!

Frank Sinatra: No, you don’t understand! We’re done! Finito! So move along back to Dublin, find yourself a bottle to crawl into!

[ Bono exits ]

Steve: Frank, this is Liza Minelli.

[ Liza enters, laughing ]

Frank Sinatra: Nice to meet you, honey.

Liza Minelli: Oh, Uncle Frank, it’s so good to see you! I remember once, you and Mom did “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” at Carnegie Hall! [ laughs ]

Frank Sinatra: “The Lady Is A Tramp”! 1, 2, 3!

[ singing ]“She gets too hungry for dinner at eight!”

Liza Minelli: “She loves the theatre, but never comes late!”

Frank Sinatra: “She never bothers with people she hates!”

Liza Minelli: [ laughs ]

Together: “And that’s why the lady is a tramp!”

Liza Minelli: Oh, yeah! [ laughs ] “She don’t like-“

Frank Sinatra: Okay, cut it, print it and ship it – I’m buying that one!

Liza Minelli: But, Frank, that’s not even the whole song!

Frank Sinatra: Your money’s on the dresser, baby, I’m done with you! [ Liza exits in a huff ] Steve, let’s keep it moving, come on!

Steve: Frank, Meat Loaf.

[ Meat Loaf straggles in ]

Frank Sinatra: Meat, Frank. Good to meet you.

Meat Loaf: It’s great to be here. You know I was thinking –

Frank Sinatra: “Summer Wind”! Hit it!

[ singing ]“The summer wind came crashing in
from across the shore!”

Meat Loaf: “The summer wind came crashing in, and I..” I’m sorry, sir.. I don’t know that one..

Frank Sinatra: You don’t know “Summer Wind”? You don’t know English – it’s called the lexicon, Tiny!

Meat Loaf: Maybe we could do another song?

Frank Sinatra: Yeah! It’s called “Get Out!” [ Meat Loaf exits ] Steve, this is getting a litle long, send ’em in two at a time now! While I’m young!

Steve: Okay, Frank. This is Anita Baker and Kenny G. They’re real big fans.

[ Anita and Kenny enters the studio ]

Anita Baker: I thought this was gonna be a duet?

Frank Sinatra: It’s a trio now, baby. I know you ain’t no stranger to that!

[ steamed, Anita exits ]

Frank Sinatra: Alright. Kenny, hit it.

[ singing ]“Those fingers in my hair
That sly come-hither stare..”

Sing it, Kenny!

Kenny G: I don’t sing, Frank. I play soprano sax.

Frank Sinatra: Whatever. They ain’t paying to hear your half!

[ as Frank sings, Kenny screeches on his sax ]

“Those fingers in my hair
That sly come-hither stare..”

Okay, okay, enough with the horn already! I haven’t heard screeching like that since Ava Gardner!

[ Kenny exits ]

Steve: Okay, Frank.. this is k.d. Lang and Wynonna Judd.

Frank Sinatra: [ stone-faced ] Never heard of them! Next!

Steve: I’m sorry..

[ they exit ]

Steve: Okay, Frank, I’ve got a special surprise duet for you. You might say they’re your biggest fans. Nancy and Frank Sinatra, Jr.

Nancy Sinatra: Hi, Dad!

Frank Sinatra: Oh, get them out of here!

Frank Sinatra, Jr.: Pop! Please!

Frank Sinatra: This ain’t no charity! I gave you the name, now get out! Steve, I gotta get out of here! Clear the bench, bring ’em all in!

Steve: Okay, Frank. Luther Vandross, Tom Petty, Natalie Merchant and James Taylor.

[ they all walk in ]

Frank Sinatra: Yeah, yeah, yeah.. whatever! Let’s go – 2, 3!

“She gets too hungry for dinner at eight!”

The Others: [ muffled ] “She loves the theatre, but won’t arrive late!”

Steve: Frank, Frank, excuse me. You already recorded this one earlier. It’s Lady Is A Tramp” again.

Frank Sinatra: Stevearino, every time I sing a song, I sing it different. Cut! That’s a good one! Next tune.

[ Bono re-enters as everyone else exits ]

Bono: Okay, look, I’m back. I want another chance to sing the song, so let’s do it!

Frank Sinatra: You’re getting on my nerves, potato-head.

Bono: Look, you stupid old fool! I won’t be embarrassed by some washed-up old lounge singer!

Frank Sinatra: That’s it, pal, it’s Go Time! [ punches Bono in the face ] How’s that feel, Bluto, you like that?! Huh! Sing “Come Fly With Me”! Sing it! [ kicks Bono as he sings ]

“Come fly with me let’s fly
we’ll fly away!”

Hey, Steve, was the tape rolling on that one?

Steve: Oh yeah, Frank. Another classic.

Frank Sinatra: Okay, put the album out. Good job, kid.

Casey Kasem: Ol’ Blue Eyes is back, and better than ever. Next week, the making of the Duets video, featuring four – count ’em, four – four versions of The Lady Is A Tramp”. I’m Casey Kasem!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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