SNL Transcripts: Nicole Kidman: 11/20/93: Nicole Kidman’s Monologue

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 19: Episode 7


93g: Nicole Kidman / Stone Temple Pilots

Nicole Kidman’s Monologue

…..Nicole Kidman
Audience Member 1…..Sarah Silverman
Audience Member 2…..Norm MacDonald
Audience Member 3…..Fred Wolf
…..Chris Farley
…..Lorne Michaels

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Nicole Kidman!

[ Kidman walks onto stage ]

Nicole Kidman: Thank you very much! Thanks a lot! Well, it’s a thrill to be here on Saturday Night Live. And, umm.. First thing’s first, I just wanna say: “Yes. I am married to Tom Cruise.” (audience cheers) He is my husband. But this is my show tonight, and.. uhh.. We’re gonna have a lot of fun. And… (notices an audience member) Oh! Yea, you, the audience member who always has a question.

Audience Member 1: I thought that “My Life” was a great movie!

Nicole Kidman: Oh. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Audience Member 1: Yea. Is Tom Cruise here tonight?

Nicole Kidman: Uhh.. No. Tom’s not coming. He’s making a film at the moment and- (notices audience member) Oh. Over here.

Audience Member 2: Yea. Yea. Hi. Hi. Is it true that Tom Cruise is gonna be here tonight?

Nicole Kidman: Okay. Like I said, umm.. Tom won’t be here tonight, but I’m here and it’s gonna be great! So..uh.. (laughs) (notices another audience member) Yea.

Audience Member 3: Yeeaa.. Are you really married to uhh..(long pause) to uhh..Tom Cruise?

Nicole Kidman: (nods) Yup. I am.

Audience Member 3: Where the hell is he?

Nicole Kidman: Okay…Last Question…uhh.. Oh! Chris! Yea.

Chris Farley : (wearing Top Gun jacket) Hi Nicole.

Nicole Kidman: Hi.

Chris Farley: Hey. When..uhh.. when Tom Cruise gets here. I was wondering if..if..uhh.. if he could sign my “Top Gun” jacket?

Nicole Kidman: No. Umm, Chris. Tom isn’t coming tonight. Okay? So.. This is my show. And- (sees Lorne on the side) Lorne.. Yea..

Lorne Michaels: Nicole, Do you know when Tom is getting here?

Nicole Kidman: Okay. Okay. Look… Let me see what I can do. Okay? (walks off stage)

[ Chris Farley approaches Lorne Michaels ]

Chris Farley: What’s going on? Where is she going? What’s happening, Lorne?

Lorne: Chris, I don’t know.

[ Couch is center stage. Music starts to play. Nicole slides on stage in long t-shirt and socks, holding candle holder. Begins lip synching and dancing to “Old Time Rock and Roll”. Music stops. ]

Nicole Kidman: We got a great show. We’ve got Stone Temple Pilots. So stick around. We’ll be right back.

Submitted by: Julie Santini

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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