SNL Transcripts: Charlton Heston: 12/04/93


Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

December 4th, 1993

Charlton Heston

Paul Westerberg


Paul Westerberg, “Can’t Hardly Wait”

  • Studio Of The Apes

    Heston falls asleep, wakes up in ape-inhabited studio.

  • Charlton Heston’s Monologue

    Heston takes questions from ape audience who won’t acknowledge him as a human.

  • Infiniti Q45 Toilet I

  • Coffee Talk

    Linda’s (Mike Myers) guest is new Catholic boyfriend (Heston).

    Recurring Characters: Linda Richman.

  • Infiniti Q45 Toilet II

  • Gangsta Rap Dance Smashes!

  • The President Is Illiterate

  • Paul Westerberg performs “Knockin’ on Mine”

  • Weekend Update with Kevin Nealon

  • King Solomon Junior High Career Day

  • Infiniti Q45 Toilet III

  • NRA Five-Day Loaner Program

  • Bag Man

    Elder stock boy (Heston) keeps job by lightly threatening his manager (Phil Hartman).

  • Paul Westerberg performs “Can’t Hardly Wait”

  • Behind Moses’ Back

  • Herlihy Boy House-Sitting Service

    Please, for the love of God and all that is sacred, let the boy move in with you!

    Recurring Characters: Mr. O’Malley.

  • Goodnights

    SNL Transcripts

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    Author: Don Roy King

    Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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