SNL Transcripts: Charlton Heston: 12/04/93

Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:
December 4th, 1993

Charlton Heston

Paul Westerberg

None

Paul Westerberg, “Can’t Hardly Wait”

Studio Of The Apes

Heston falls asleep, wakes up in ape-inhabited studio.

Charlton Heston’s Monologue

Heston takes questions from ape audience who won’t acknowledge him as a human.

Infiniti Q45 Toilet I

Coffee Talk

Linda’s (Mike Myers) guest is new Catholic boyfriend (Heston).

Recurring Characters: Linda Richman.

Infiniti Q45 Toilet II

Gangsta Rap Dance Smashes!

The President Is Illiterate

Paul Westerberg performs “Knockin’ on Mine”

Weekend Update with Kevin Nealon

King Solomon Junior High Career Day

Infiniti Q45 Toilet III

NRA Five-Day Loaner Program

Bag Man

Elder stock boy (Heston) keeps job by lightly threatening his manager (Phil Hartman).

Paul Westerberg performs “Can’t Hardly Wait”

Behind Moses’ Back

Herlihy Boy House-Sitting Service

Please, for the love of God and all that is sacred, let the boy move in with you!

Recurring Characters: Mr. O’Malley.

Goodnights

SNL Transcripts