SNL Transcripts: Charlton Heston: 12/04/93


Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:
December 4th, 1993

Charlton Heston

Paul Westerberg

None

Paul Westerberg, “Can’t Hardly Wait”

  • Studio Of The Apes

    Heston falls asleep, wakes up in ape-inhabited studio.

  • Charlton Heston’s Monologue

    Heston takes questions from ape audience who won’t acknowledge him as a human.

  • Infiniti Q45 Toilet I

  • Coffee Talk

    Linda’s (Mike Myers) guest is new Catholic boyfriend (Heston).

    Recurring Characters: Linda Richman.

  • Infiniti Q45 Toilet II

  • Gangsta Rap Dance Smashes!

  • The President Is Illiterate

  • Paul Westerberg performs “Knockin’ on Mine”

  • Weekend Update with Kevin Nealon

  • King Solomon Junior High Career Day

  • Infiniti Q45 Toilet III

  • NRA Five-Day Loaner Program

  • Bag Man

    Elder stock boy (Heston) keeps job by lightly threatening his manager (Phil Hartman).

  • Paul Westerberg performs “Can’t Hardly Wait”

  • Behind Moses’ Back

  • Herlihy Boy House-Sitting Service

    Please, for the love of God and all that is sacred, let the boy move in with you!

    Recurring Characters: Mr. O’Malley.

  • Goodnights

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