Sally Field’s Monologue


Sally Field’s Monologue

…..Sally Field
Burt Reynolds…..Phil Hartman
…..Chris Farley


Sally Field: Thank you! Thank you very, very much! It’s wonderful to be here, it’s been a great year for me. I’m in a big hit movie – “Mrs. Doubtfire”.. and here I am hosting the Christmas show of “Saturday Night Live”.

Now, when they asked me to host the show, I have to admit I was a little relunctant. As you know, this show loves to get its host up here and make fun of the things they’ve done a long time ago. Now, the first thing I did was lay down some ground rules. To start with, there’s “The Flying Nun”, well.. it was a great show. [ show fans in audience dressed as nuns ] I had a lot of fun doing it, but I told them I didn’t want to do any sketches tonight about “The Flying Nun”. [ fans dressed as nuns scowl, stand up, and leave studio disappointed ]

Also, although I enjoyed doing “Gidget”, uh. and it was a great show and a great experience.. [ show fans in audience dressed in beachwear ] Yes, it certainly did launch my career.. I’m not going to do any sketches tonight about “Gidget”. [ fans dressed in beachwear scowl, stand up, and leave studio disappointed, revealing Chris Farley alone in the audience ]

And, of course, “Smokey & The Bandit” was a great film – a groundbreaking film. Lord knows without it there couldn’t have been a “Cannonball Run”. But there will be no sketches tonight about “Smokey & The Bandit”. [ show Burt Reynolds in the audience. He stands up, prepared to leave, but changes his mind and stays instead ]I told them, “If you want to make fun of something, make fun of ‘Cybil’.” It was a movie I did where I play a girl with 16 separate personalities. For soem reason, I’m always happy to make fun of crazy people! [ Burt stands up again, and leaves for good this time, Chris Farley now completely alone in the audience ] Well.. at least there’s one person left. Why didn’t you leave like everyone else?

Chris Farley: [ stands ] Because I like you. I really, really like you!

Sally Field: He likes me! He really, really likes me! That’s good enough for me! We have a great show – Tony! Toni! Tone! is here. Stick around, we’ll be right back! Burt, I was just kidding!

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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