White Diamonds Perfume
Von Rye…..Phil Hartman
Card Player…..Mike Myers
Elizabeth Taylor…..Sally Field
[ open on Von Rye challenging a Card Player at the table ]
Announcer: Elizabeth Taylor.. for White Diamonds.
Von Rye: ..And I raise you.
Card Player: I.. am afraid I’m a little short.
Von Rye: [ sinister laugh ] [ Elizabeth Taylor enters the room ]
Elizabeth Taylor: Not so fast, von Rye.
Von Rye: [ stunned ] Elizabeth Taylor! It’s you!
Elizabeth Taylor: [ out of focus ] It’s been a long time.
Von Rye: I can’t believe it. You haven’t changed in twenty years!
Elizabeth Taylor: [ out of focus ] You flatter me!
Von Rye: You’re a vision! Those clear, violet eyes.. those cheekbones.. My God, but you’re lovely!
Elizabeth Taylor: [ out of focus ] These.. have always brought me luck! [ holds up a diamond earring ]
Von Rye: It’s flawless.
Elizabeth Taylor: [ out of focus ] Yes. Three carats.
Von Rye: No. I meant your skin. Are you some kind of sorceress? Have you discovered some new fountain of youth?!
Elizabeth Taylor: [ out of focus, laughs ] [ dissolve to product on table ]
Announcer: White Diamonds. The intriguing new fragrance from Elizabeth Taylor.[ out of focus Elizabeth stands behind product ]
Elizabeth Taylor: There’s nothing in the word.. as timeless.. as.. [ breathy ] White Diamonds.