So Long, Farewell


93t: Heather Locklear / Janet Jackson

So Long, Farewell

…..Phil Hartman
Kristy…..David Spade
Lucy…..Adam Sandler
Tori Spelling…..Melanie Hutsell
Ike Turner…..Tim Meadows
…..Kevin Nealon
…..Jay Mohr
…..Sarah Silverman
…..Norm MacDonald
Linda Richman…..Mike Myers
Zoraida…..Ellen Cleghorne
Richmeister…..Rob Schneider
Pat…..Julia Sweeney
…..Michael McKean
Matt Foley…..Chris Farley

[ open on Phil Hartman stading alone on a darkened Home Base ]

Phil Hartman: Ladies and gentlemen, as we close out our 19th season, let’s say goodbye to the “Saturday Night Live” family singers.

[ the remaining cast members and featured players enter Home Base, each dressed as one of their prominent recurring characters – except for Kevin Nealon, Jay Mohr, Sarah Silverman and Norm MacDonald, who appear as themselves ] [ singing ]

“So long, farewell!
Auf wiedersehen, goodnight!”

Lucy & Kristy:
“We sell you jeans
Like, even if they’re too tight!”

[ Lucy and Kristy lock hands and dance away from Home Base giggling ]

“So long, farewell!
We must be stealing.”

Tori Spelling: Watch “90210”.

Ike Turner: “I’m sorry, Kevin Nealon.”

[ Ike and Tori hug Kevin, as they dance away from Home Base ]

“So long, farewell!
We’d like to give you more.”

Jay Mohr, Sarah Silverman, Norm MacDonald:
“We’re not on a lot
So we’d better try and score.”

[ Sarah Silverman hops on Jay Mohr’s back, as they and Norm MacDonald dance away from Home Base ]

“So long, goodbye
It’s time to say farewell.”

Linda Richman:
“I feel verklempt
So talk among yourselves.”

[ Linda Richman dances away from Home Base ]

“So long, farewell!
We have to bid adieu.”

“What makes you think
That I won’t cut you?”

[ Zoraida flaps hwer skirt and dances away from Home Base ]

“So long, farewell!
To say goodbye is sad.”

Richmeister & Pat:
“We skipped this year
And that’s why it was bad.”

[ Richmeister & Pat dance away from Home Base ]

“So long, farewell!
We’ll wake up bright and early.”

Michael McKean: [ dressed as Lenny ]“I don’t have a character yet
But I was on ‘Laverne & Shirley’.”

[ Michael McKean dances away from Home Base ]

Matt Foley: [ alone at Home Base, tired and beat ]“So long.. farewell!
Hey, what am I, chopped liver?
I need.. to sleep..
In a van.. down by the.. river.”

[ Matt slowly and defeatedly takes his seat on the apron of the stage, half-asleep, as Phil Hartman sits down and wraps his arm around Matt ]

Phil Hartman: [ to audience ] You know.. I can’t imagine a more dignifed way.. to end my eight years on this program.
[ singing ]“Good-bye.. good-bye..

[ spotlight centers on Phil and Matt, as camera zooms out to fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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