Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 20: Episode 3
INT. STUDIO 8H – HALLWAY – NIGHT[ An elevator door opens. CLOSE-UP on the shoes. CAMERA moves up to reveal JOHN TRAVOLTA. Decked in black suit and t-shirt, he begins to stroll down the hallway. The Bee Gees “Stayin’ Alive” begins. John passes three female extras in costumes and smirks at them. He approaches a female NBC PAGE at her desk. The music stops. ]
John Travolta: Hi!
NBC Page: Hi, Mr. Travolta!
John Travolta: Could you tell me where the bathroom is?
NBC Page: Actually, you were just down by that way – you passed it by the elevators.
John Travolta: Ah! Okay?[ CAMERA zooms on Travolta’s shoes. He beings his stroll to “Stayin’ Alive” again. He passes the extras again and kindly greets them. John locates the men?s restroom and enters. The music stops. A pair of similar shoes exits and the music starts again, but the camera goes up to reveal writer FRED WOLF. Fred’s shocked and races off. The CAMERA goes back to the restroom door and the correct pair of shoes exit. “Stayin’ Alive” resumes and John proceeds down the hallway. He gets lost and stops as does the music. He approaches the female extras. ]
John Travolta: Excuse me, do you know where the dressing rooms are?[ A female extra points down to the stage entrance. ]
Extra: There down that way?[ CAMERA focuses on his shoes and the Bee Gees music begins again. John’s shoes approach the NBC Page’s desk. ]
John Travolta: Could I get the key to my dressing room?
NBC Page: I don?t have it. I think I gave it to you.
John Travolta: You gave it to me?
NBC Page: Yeah? maybe you left it in the men?s room.
John Travolta: How much time do I have?[ She looks at her watch. ]
NBC Page: About a minute and a half.
John Travolta: Oh man![ John bolts to the men’s room. “Stayin’ Alive” speeds up but goes to normal speed as he slows down to gracefully walk past the extras but rushes to high speed as John rushes to the bathroom. After a few moments, John comes out of the restroom and runs down the hallway. ]
Joe Dicso (V/O): Slow down, John! Slow down! Relax, relax. You got plenty of time.[ John goes to a casual stroll and the song goes to slow motion before stopping altogether. ]
Joe Dicso (V/O): 20 seconds![ John nears the stage entrance with stage manager JOE DICSO at his side. ]
Joe Dicso: John, you better not stand here. We got scenery coming through.
John Travolta: Sorry.[ CAMERA goes down to his shoes. The last few bars of “Stayin’ Alive” play. ]
Joe Dicso (V/O): Okay we?re about to start! On air in 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1![ John drops his body to the ground and closes up on the CAMERA. ]
John Travolta: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”
Submitted by: Cody Downs