Dana Carvey’s Monologue
George Bush/Himself…..Dana Carvey
[ Dana Carvey comes out dressed as former President George Bush ]
George Bush: Take ‘her slow! Slow-ly.. Feel like I’m the Dave Clark Five here! [ chuckles ] Doni’ a little Tai Chi – Dana’s backstage, not quite ready, a little nervous. Sent me out here to stal for time, but.. since we’ve got a minute.. you know, I wanna tell ya, I’ve been feeling good about the Republican Party. Been consulting with some – thank you! I’m in enemy territory here! Been consulting with some Republican pollsters – looks good! It looks good! Sat down with Newt Gingrich and Phil Gramm.. worked up a little ditty. G.E.? You wanna lay down that funky thing you do back there?[ the band starts to play, as Bush begins to hip-hop ]
“Republicans are teachers
Democrats are students!
Don’t vote for donkey
Wouldn’t be prudent!
Gingrich and Dole
Diggin’ Bill a hole.
You heard me, and I’m in it
We’re takin’ the House and Senate!
We’re not gonna lose
Not gonna do it!
Not gonna do it
And I’m nah gah!
I say I’m not nah gah..”
Director’s Voice: Dana?
Dana Carvey: What?! I was doin’ my “Nah gah”!
Director’s Voice: Uh.. President Bush is still on the hook-up, and.. he wants to say something.
Dana Carvey: Wha.. wha.. he-he’s here now?
Director’s Voice: Yeah. Should I put him through?
Dana Carvey: [ in Bush voice ] Uh.. alright. Put him in.
George Bush: Dana. George Bush here. I’m watching you do my impression of me, and, I gotta say, it’s nothing like me. Bears no resemblence. It’s bad. It’s bad!
Dana Carvey: Well, I’m sorry, Mr. President! I think it’s a fair impression!
George Bush: Don’t see it.
Dana Carvey: You don’t?
George Bush: It’s totally exaggerated! It’s not me. Those crazy hand gestures.. the pointing thing.. I don’t do ’em! And, also: “Nah gah da.” Never said it. In all my years of governement service, I never once said, “Nah gah da!”
Dana Carvey: Uh.. anything else?
George Bush: Yes! That Church Lady thing. What was that all about? Never got the point.
Dana Carvey: [ in Church Lady voice ] Well, isn’t that special?
George Bush: Dana. gotta go. Bye.
Dana Carvey: Well, perhaps he’s got a point. Is he gone, Davy?
Director’s Voice: Yep.
George Bush: Hit it, G.E.![ singing ]
Nah gah do it!
Nah gah do it!”
Edie Brickell is here! Stick around, we’ll be right back![ singing ]
“Nah gah do it..!”