Woman…..Janene Garafalo
Spokesman…..Michael McKean
Man…..Chris Elliot

[ open on couple looking over the casket at a memorial service ]

Woman: I don’t know, she just doesn’t look comfortable.

Spokesman: Maybe it’s the mattress.

Together: The mattress?

Man: Gee, I didn’t know there was that big a difference betwen coffin mattresses.

Spokesman: Obiously, you’ve never heard of Eterna-Rest.

Together: Eterna-Rest?

Spokesman: Eterna-Rest’s unique posture coil system adjusts to the contours of your loved one’s body, providing support where it’s needed most. But that’s just the beginning of the Eterna difference. [ demonstration shows the body decomposing ] Because, as your loved one decomposes, Eterna-Rest keeps adjusting, and Eterna-Rest knows that no two bodies decompose in exactly the same way. Even as skeletal remains shift and collapse, Eterna’s patented inner-coil conforms and supports, so your loved ones can rest in peace.

Together: [ together ] Rest in peace.. [ they laugh ] [ SUPER: “Later” ]

Woman: She looks so serene.

Man: Thanks to Eterna-Rest.

Spokesman: And don’t forget new Eterna-Rest casket air freshener. [ places one in the casket ]

Woman: Does it last forever?

Spokesman: Well.. no. Just through the period where it would really stink.

Announcer: Eterna-Rest. We keep working, even though you’re dead.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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