Woman…..Janene Garafalo
Spokesman…..Michael McKean
Man…..Chris Elliot

[ open on couple looking over the casket at a memorial service ]

Woman: I don’t know, she just doesn’t look comfortable.

Spokesman: Maybe it’s the mattress.

Together: The mattress?

Man: Gee, I didn’t know there was that big a difference betwen coffin mattresses.

Spokesman: Obiously, you’ve never heard of Eterna-Rest.

Together: Eterna-Rest?

Spokesman: Eterna-Rest’s unique posture coil system adjusts to the contours of your loved one’s body, providing support where it’s needed most. But that’s just the beginning of the Eterna difference. [ demonstration shows the body decomposing ] Because, as your loved one decomposes, Eterna-Rest keeps adjusting, and Eterna-Rest knows that no two bodies decompose in exactly the same way. Even as skeletal remains shift and collapse, Eterna’s patented inner-coil conforms and supports, so your loved ones can rest in peace.

Together: [ together ] Rest in peace.. [ they laugh ] [ SUPER: “Later” ]

Woman: She looks so serene.

Man: Thanks to Eterna-Rest.

Spokesman: And don’t forget new Eterna-Rest casket air freshener. [ places one in the casket ]

Woman: Does it last forever?

Spokesman: Well.. no. Just through the period where it would really stink.

Announcer: Eterna-Rest. We keep working, even though you’re dead.

SNL Transcripts

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