Sarah Jessica Parker’s Monologue
…..Sarah Jessica Parker
…..Mike Myers
…..David Spade
Sarah Jessica Parker: It is really.. it is really, really great to be here, hosting “Saturday Night Live”! I grew up here in New York City, and this has just been the greatest.. best week of- [ stops ] I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. it’s not true. This has.. this has not been a great week. Um.. for the last several months, I was working every day on Gov. Mario Cuomo’s re-election campaign.. and, uh.. as oyu know, last Tuesday, he lost.. so, uh.. so, tonight, there’s something that I’d like to say to him. It’s something that I learned back when I was playing Annie on Broadway. [ cue piano in background ] So, uh.. Mario? Mr. Cuomo? If you’re watching, this is for you.. and for all the other hundreds of Democratic losers out there.
Mario.. the sun will come out tomorrow
Mario Cuomo.. forget about Pataki and..
[ singing ]
Bet your bottom dollar that.. tomorroooowThere’ll be sun – in ’96..
[ spoken ] Or, you know, you could get a job in the private sector. I don’t know.. maybe Baseball Commissioner, or something?
[ singing ] Just.. thinking about.. tomorrow
[ spoken ] ..Ann Richards and Tom Foley.
[ singing ] Clears away the cobwebs.. and the sorrow
[ spoken ] ..of Jesse Helms, Chair & Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
[ singing ] ‘Til there’s.. none..
[ spoken ] And you, too, President Clinton! I want you to remember this!
[ singing ]
When I’m stuck with a day. that’s grey.. and Newt Gingrich
I just stick up my chin.. and grin.. and say..
[ spoken ] Oh! I just want to say a quick congratulations to Ted Kennedy for a great win! You really– [ audience cheers ] You pulled it out, you know! You dropped 10 or 15 pounds, and you look fantastic! Your skin looks good, too. So, keep up the good fight!
[ singing ]
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya! Tomrrow..!
[ Mike Myers and David Spade run on stage to interrupt Parker ]
Mike Myers: Sarah! Sarah!
David Spade: Stop singing.
Mike Myers: Yeah.
Sarah Jessica Parker: Wh-what’s wrong?
Mike Myers: Well.. well, you’re singing about the Democrats, and.. basically, we’re all Republican here at the show, and uh.. well.. we’re pretty happy about the victory.
Sarah Jessica Parker: You’re serious? Everyone here is a Republican?
David Spade: Oh, yeah. Very Republican. The cast.. writers.. stagehands.. even Ellen Cleghorne. But, more importantly, we really don’t like the “Annie” song.
Mike Myers: And, uh.. finally, with a Republican congress, that song may be outlawed.
Sarah Jessica Parker: Oh. Wow.. I’m sorry.. Republicans?
David Spade: Oh, yeah.
[ Mike and David exit the stage ]
Sarah Jessica Parker: [ still dumbfounded ] Well, at least Ollie North didn’t win!
[ finishes her song ]
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya.. tomorrow!
It’s only.. a daaay.. a.. waaaaaaayy!
Anyway.. we have got a great show. REM is here! so, stick around, we’ll be right back!
