SNL Transcripts: John Turturro: 11/19/94: Jamaica Tourism Ad




 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 20: Episode 6







94f: John Turturro / Tom Petty

Jamaica Tourism Ad

Female Spokesperson…..Ellen Cleghorne
Male Spokesperson…..Tim Meadows

[ Open on a shot of the beach. Happy island music plays. ]

Female spokesperson V/O: There is an island where the people are as ‘ospitable as the climate.

[ Fade to happy, laughing, grinning Jamaican spokespeople standing in front of a beach shot. ]

Female spokesperson: Where our white pristine beaches are your playground.

Male spokesperson: Because dey were put dere just for you.

Spokespeople: [ together ] And so were we!

Female spokesperson: Because when you va-key-shun in Ja-mey-ca, YOU’RE the boss!

Male spokesperson: And dat’s okay wit us!

Female spokesperson: [ laughing ] We do the cookin’, we do the cleanin’, we make your beds, we run the limbo contests!

Male spokesperson: We ‘old de stick while you try to limbo. It’s fun!

Female spokesperson: [ laughing ] Mess up your room all you like. I don’t mind bendin’ over to pick up your underwear! Why should I?

Male spokesperson: You want to t’row up in de pool, mon?

Female spokesperson: [ laughing ] No problem! We fish it out wit de skimmer!

Male spokesperson: Are you in college?

Female spokesperson: Then come on down, and get drunk and play loud music all night long while we’re trying to sleep, so that we can get up early to make your breakfast! Don’t worry!

Male spokesperson: It’s Jamaica!

Female spokesperson: [ laughing ] And feel free to complain to our boss about any little t’ing!

Male spokesperson: Report us, mon! Get us in trouble!

Female spokesperson: [ laughing ] If somet’ing is missing, assume we stole it! And then, when you find it in your suitcase, don’t apologize! No need! We’re used to it!

Male spokesperson: It’s Jamaica!

Female spokesperson: And bring de whoooooole fam’ly! We love de little children.

Male spokesperson: Because dey are de boss too!

Female spokesperson: We love it when a six-year-old says, “Gimme a towel, now!” It’s so cute!

Male spokesperson: So dis year, come on to Jamaica, because to tell you de truth, tourism is all we got!

Female spokesperson: Oh, I like the water! It feels so tickly!

[ Fade back to shot of beach from beginning. SUPER: JAMAICA / Where we basically live on tips ]

Female spokesperson V/O: Jamaica. Because basically, we live on tips.

Jingle: Jamaica, where we basically live on tips …

[ Applause ]

Submitted by: G. Gomez

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