SNL Transcripts: John Turturro: 11/19/94: Dr. Ira Resnick II

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 20: Episode 6


94f: John Turturro / Tom Petty

Dr. Ira Resnick II

Dr. Ira Resnick…..John Turturro
Gloria…..Janeane Garofalo

FADE IN:

[ PHOTO OF A GLUM JOSH LEVINE (CHRIS ELLIOTT) SMILING CONFIDENT ]

Narrator (V/O): Dr. Josh Levine talks a lot about sterilizing instruments.Dr. Josh Levine says he cares. Then tell us, “Dr. Josh”, why your waitingroom is filled with six-month-old U.S. NEWS & WORLD REPORTS? And TELL US”Dr. Josh” —

[ PHOTO OF AN ELDERLY RECEPTIONIST. ]

Narrator (V/O): Why your receptionist is over 63-years-old? And finally,”Dr. Josh” —

[ PHOTO OF A DENTAL DRILL OPERATING ON A NERVE IN THE MOUTH. ]

Narrator (V/O): Why you don’t use Novocaine?

[ SOUND EFFECT OF A DRILL OPERATING. ]

Narrator (V/O): Come on, Dr. Josh! Don’t you think your patients deserve better?

[ SOUND EFFECT OF A WOMAN SCREAMING OVER AND OVER. ]

INT. DENTIST OFFICE – DAY

[ Dr. Ira Resnick stands next to his dental hygienist GLORIA. ]

Dr. Resnick: Hello! Dr. Ira Resnick here — telling Bronxville about mynewly decorated waiting room with the newest magazines and a fish tankwith REAL tropical fish and a 23-year-old hygienist. Isn’t that right, Gloria?

Gloria: That’s right, Dr. Resnick!

Dr. Resnick: Why do I do it? The same reason I use Novocaine — for you!!

[ Dr. Resnick points at the camera. ] [ SUPER: DR. IRA RESNICK. HE USES NOVOCAINE. ]

Narrator (V/O): Dr. Ira Resnick. He uses Novocaine.

Dr. Resnick: And remember — I won’t feel you up when you’re unconscious!

[ SUPER: AND HE WON’T FEEL YOU UP WHEN YOU’RE UNCONSCIOUS. ]

Narrator (V/O): And he won’t feel you up when you’re unconscious.

Submitted by: Cody Downs

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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