SNL Transcripts: Roseanne: 12/03/94

Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:
December 3rd 1994

Roseanne

Green Day

Rip Taylor

Green Day, “When I Come Around”

Jesse Helms Press Conference

Sen. Jesse Helms (Mike Myers) issues more non-specific threats to White House.

Recurring Characters: Jesse Helms.

Roseanne’s Monologue

Roseanne has nasty words about TV critics and Hollywood celebrities.

H.H.T. Home Headache Test

(Repeat) See: 09/24/94.

USAir

Following crashes, new safety regulations are in order.

A Woman Exploited: The Madonna & Tom Arnold Story

Tom Arnold (Chris Farley) rides new wife Madonna’s (Janene Garafalo) coattails.

Recurring Characters: Tom Arnold, Madonna, Rosie O’Donnell.

Rescue 911

Philadelphia operator (Roseanne) finds boredom within life-threatening 911 calls.

Green Day performs “When I Come Around”

Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald

David Spade addresses striking athletes.

For the ACLU, Naomi Green (Janene Garafalo) comments on Jeffrey Dahmer death.

Adam Sandler sings his “Chanukahg Song”.

Low-Fat Yogurt

Dieters (Roseanne, Laura Kightlinger, Ellen Cleghorne) try low-fat yogurt.

Civil War Memories

High school dropouts put the Civil War into words.

Multiple Personalities

Psychoanalyst (Norm MacDonald) enjoys Roseanne’s whorey personality.

Green Day performs “Geek Stink Breath”

Funny Strange

Novelty shop items are more creepy than laugh-out-loud funny.

Lock-Up

Inmate Bobby Blake (Laura Kightlinger) hosts talk show in women’s prison.

Goodnights

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