SNL Transcripts: Roseanne: 12/03/94

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

December 3rd 1994


Green Day

Rip Taylor

Green Day, “When I Come Around”

  • Jesse Helms Press Conference

    Sen. Jesse Helms (Mike Myers) issues more non-specific threats to White House.

    Recurring Characters: Jesse Helms.

  • Roseanne’s Monologue

    Roseanne has nasty words about TV critics and Hollywood celebrities.

  • H.H.T. Home Headache Test

    (Repeat) See: 09/24/94.

  • USAir

    Following crashes, new safety regulations are in order.

  • A Woman Exploited: The Madonna & Tom Arnold Story

    Tom Arnold (Chris Farley) rides new wife Madonna’s (Janene Garafalo) coattails.

    Recurring Characters: Tom Arnold, Madonna, Rosie O’Donnell.

  • Rescue 911

    Philadelphia operator (Roseanne) finds boredom within life-threatening 911 calls.

  • Green Day performs “When I Come Around”

  • Weekend Update with Norm MacDonald

    David Spade addresses striking athletes.

    For the ACLU, Naomi Green (Janene Garafalo) comments on Jeffrey Dahmer death.

    Adam Sandler sings his “Chanukahg Song”.

  • Low-Fat Yogurt

    Dieters (Roseanne, Laura Kightlinger, Ellen Cleghorne) try low-fat yogurt.

  • Civil War Memories

    High school dropouts put the Civil War into words.

  • Multiple Personalities

    Psychoanalyst (Norm MacDonald) enjoys Roseanne’s whorey personality.

  • Green Day performs “Geek Stink Breath”

  • Funny Strange

    Novelty shop items are more creepy than laugh-out-loud funny.

  • Lock-Up

    Inmate Bobby Blake (Laura Kightlinger) hosts talk show in women’s prison.

  • Goodnights

    SNL Transcripts

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